One of the beloved and well known parables in the bible. A very long gospel which endears me most especially at times that I kinda slip due to my sins.. Di ko akalain, sa dami ng parables na gusto ko basahin or memorize, eto yun parang tumitigil ang mundo ko or it always giving me fits... Kung baga, parang, mapapaisip at mararamdaman mo na talagang mahal ka ni God.
I admit that I'm a sinful person, for the past long years.. Pero masasabi ko naman na nagbago ako paunti unti nga lang. hehe Hatred was gone. A bit of alcoholic eh wala na, not drink or sip an alcohol for like 4 years. hahaha Pwede naman sa inom pero depende kung sino magyaya, but definitely, just few bottles I'm done. I'm more optimistic than pessimist. Unlike before na baligtad. I'm more understanding, lalo na sa mga taong nakapaligid sa kin. I feel more relaxed despite immense pressure or stress. Yes.. A bit change sa health but still, I'm far behind being healthy. hehe
But despite those changes, I need to change more. Like the son did in the story, squandered inheritance in a far away land. I did waste something for the past years, my time and effort. I did not manage well the expectations. Kala ko kaya ko pero hindi pala.. Dagdag mo pa na yun iba, na I felt napagiwanan na. Sakto, the son felt that same way nung wala na siyang makain. Said to himself, na mabuti pa yun mga alagad ng tatay ko, di nauubusan ng pagkain at iba pa. Mas mabuti kung bumalik na lang ako and tell him I'm sorry and deny me as a son and make me one of your servants! It's hard to eat and swallow, pride, failures, disappointments tapos babalik ka sa Ama na tanggap na nagkamali ka at gusto mo magbago ulit.
Mahirap, kung ako ito, sa ngayon, parang pabalik pa lang ako sa Ama. Drained, confused and thirsty. Great thing that the Son was able to go back and given the finest robe at may fiesta pa na may masarap na baka! Wow.
Samantala ako, I just got out from the mud and going back, in the right path. Yes, coming from that mud of sin, despair and exhaustion. For the past days, while listening to Fr. Bob's talk, I just felt I'm really that sinful. It means, the hardest part of conversion is now at hand. I just figure it out how to overcome them. Make to do some sacrifices such as define my value. Look for a work that not only makes money but ignites or envigorate passion.
Get out the old ways, forgive myself, learn to purify. Get away from JAV. =( Damn these stars... hehe Value the people around you more and became more patient. If I'm alone which I always feel these days... Pray na lang. Or talk to myself.. Look other ways to fill myself with love from Jesus.
These difficult things, I felt that hindering me to grow further. That's why, I'm thankful for this holy week and yes, this story.. It reminds me that at the end of that long road, that hope and love, faith I learned always... I just need to stick with it. Stick with it every moment. Every moment..
I just realized, na kahit ganito ako, I still blessed and grateful. Got the opportunity to reached great accomplishments which I did not expect. Still got the things that I thought I'll get it later. haha Bad vibes or events were less up to this moment. And yes, I can sense na this is the high time, fulfill my commitment to serve Him. Pero di ko pa alam ang time, pero parang this year na. Simple serve lang muna. hehe
Indeed the Father in the story, as this year suggest by the church, gave full mercy to the prodigal son. Not only full mercy, but also love that gave the son meaning to himself and what it meant to go back. We don't know if this son really changed, or if he did amend with his older brother who complained such mercy. I don't care about those parts..
What I care was that very act of full mercy and love. The son was able to receive without even asking.
That's the love of God.
Siguro ang ending talaga nun, nasa state of shock yun anak. hehe Just staring at the feast at di pa din maka move on sa nangyari na ginawa ng tatay niya.
Sa kin, siguro pag nangyari yun, I might fell down and cry very hard and embrace like forever..
My great father. Thank you. =)
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