A Prodigal Son

One of the beloved and well known parables in the bible. A very long gospel which endears me most especially at times that I kinda slip due to my sins.. Di ko akalain, sa dami ng parables na gusto ko basahin or memorize, eto yun parang tumitigil ang mundo ko or it always giving me fits... Kung baga, parang, mapapaisip at mararamdaman mo na talagang mahal ka ni God. 

I admit that I'm a sinful person, for the past long years.. Pero masasabi ko naman na nagbago ako paunti unti nga lang. hehe Hatred was gone. A bit of alcoholic eh wala na, not drink or sip an alcohol for like 4 years. hahaha Pwede naman sa inom pero depende kung sino magyaya, but definitely, just few bottles I'm done. I'm more optimistic than pessimist. Unlike before na baligtad. I'm more understanding, lalo na sa mga taong nakapaligid sa kin. I feel more relaxed despite immense pressure or stress. Yes.. A bit change sa health but still, I'm far behind being healthy. hehe 

But despite those changes, I need to change more. Like the son did in the story, squandered inheritance in a far away land. I did waste something for the past years, my time and effort. I did not manage well the expectations. Kala ko kaya ko pero hindi pala.. Dagdag mo pa na yun iba, na I felt napagiwanan na. Sakto, the son felt that same way nung wala na siyang makain. Said to himself, na mabuti pa yun mga alagad ng tatay ko, di nauubusan ng pagkain at iba pa. Mas mabuti kung bumalik na lang ako and tell him I'm sorry and deny me as a son and make me one of your servants! It's hard to eat and swallow, pride, failures, disappointments tapos babalik ka sa Ama na tanggap na nagkamali ka at gusto mo magbago ulit.

Mahirap, kung ako ito, sa ngayon, parang pabalik pa lang ako sa Ama. Drained, confused and thirsty. Great thing that the Son was able to go back and given the finest robe at may fiesta pa na may masarap na baka! Wow. 

Samantala ako, I just got out from the mud and going back, in the right path. Yes, coming from that mud of sin, despair and exhaustion. For the past days, while listening to Fr. Bob's talk, I just felt I'm really that sinful. It means, the hardest part of conversion is now at hand. I just figure it out how to overcome them. Make to do some sacrifices such as define my value. Look for a work that not only makes money but ignites or envigorate passion.

Get out the old ways, forgive myself, learn to purify. Get away from JAV. =( Damn these stars... hehe Value the people around you more and became more patient. If I'm alone which I always feel these days... Pray na lang. Or talk to myself.. Look other ways to fill myself with love from Jesus. 
These difficult things, I felt that hindering me to grow further. That's why, I'm thankful for this holy week and yes, this story.. It reminds me that at the end of that long road, that hope and love, faith I learned always... I just need to stick with it. Stick with it every moment. Every moment.. 

I just realized, na kahit ganito ako, I still blessed and grateful. Got the opportunity to reached great accomplishments which I did not expect. Still got the things that I thought I'll get it later. haha Bad vibes or events were less up to this moment. And yes, I can sense na this is the high time, fulfill my commitment to serve Him. Pero di ko pa alam ang time, pero parang this year na. Simple serve lang muna. hehe

Indeed the Father in the story, as this year suggest by the church, gave full mercy to the prodigal son. Not only full mercy, but also love that gave the son meaning to himself and what it meant to go back. We don't know if this son really changed, or if he did amend with his older brother who complained such mercy. I don't care about those parts.. 

What I care was that very act of full mercy and love. The son was able to receive without even asking. 

That's the love of God. 

Siguro ang ending talaga nun, nasa state of shock yun anak. hehe Just staring at the feast at di pa din maka move on sa nangyari na ginawa ng tatay niya. 

Sa kin, siguro pag nangyari yun, I might fell down and cry very hard and embrace like forever.. 
My great father. Thank you.  =)

Reflections of Love

Faith helps to believe more.

Hope inspires you to do better.

Love is above everything else. 

Out of the three, ang pinakaimportante eh Love. Without love, I don't think you'll enough faith for the long time. Without love, hope seems will be a bliss always. Love is such a word that is hard to explain. But that's the beauty ng Love eh. Once you find it, you are hooked about it. Of course, with some boundaries to avoid well getting hurt. Di ko naman sinasabi na we should stop loving, but sometimes, great love works with a pure heart and a clearer mind. 

Although one being doesn't need to have those qualities. It is God that always love us. Jesus is the symbol of that love through his words and what he did for us. Especially, loving unconditionally even he needs to sacrifice his life. His life to save us all.

And marami pa siyempre na may works of love or even symbols of love. What's important eh you do show love to not only the person you know, but at least somebody na di mo naman close. Or a nobody. Not always but at least, show respect or do some good works. 

Love also gives na something you can use to motivate o yun passion ba to do some things na kala mo di mo gusto. Pero in the long run, magugustuhan din. Lalo na pag maraming benefits na binibigay sayo than hurting anybody or even yourself.

Love keeps you happy, especially pagdating sa relationships whether it's a romantic one, or family relationship, o kahit sa team mo na sakit sa ulo binibigay. hehe At lalo na siyempre sa mga friends mo. 

Love is limitless lalo na if you're receiving it na di mo kailangan palitan agad. 

With Love, faith becomes deeper because you love yourself and love God more.

With Love, hope is also there despite odds or struggles. If it fails, well love helps to pick you up and move on. Sometimes, try it again. 

Love is a many splendid thing. A lot more things na di ko na maexplain pa. hehe Pero for the past years, love gave me light on the things or directions I should take, rather than meeting expectations or making even sa iba. 

Di pala maganda yun, parang I forgot myself. I even ended up not loving myself because it's pushing me away from peace, or even great things such as relationships.. Parang iba na yun mahal ko na dapat di pala. 

Now, I just realized.. Well, I should really enjoy loving not only them, or also Him, but also don't forget me.

Love gives me calm, and I hope, a day will come.

That calm will rule a whole day despite everything is crashing through..

Love will make a way.

Reflections of Hope

Hope indeed keeps you going as they say. Without it, eh malamang, we stay what we are forever. Hope makes dreams, at kahit goals to become better for yourself and others.

Hope gives motivation kahit mga nangyayari sa paligid mo eh di na sa favor mo, you never give up. You never lose hope.

As years goes by, kahit may mga bagay na di naman maganda nangyari, as much faith or love keeps me going.. I never lose hope. Hope that one day, everything will be fine. My family will be happy, friends will be successful on what they're doing at makalabas and have fun time together. My right career will start off good, at magkaroon siyempre ng financial security.. Then lastly, a happy family on my own. 

Hope gives me that vision and motivates me to strive better sa buhay kahit sa ganitong edad. Talagang pag-asa yun nagbibigay sa kin ng lakas para kahit papano mangyari yun mga bagay na yun, kahit mahirap o matagal.

Hope for other people gives enlightenment. I mean, lalo na sa mga taong sawi o depressed o talagang nawala ang lahat, parang naisip tapusin na ang lahat. Hope gives that other way to redeem yourself without really hurting anybody or even sa sarili mo. Gaya na lang siguro yun kwento ni KFC, I mean Colonel Sanders took 1000 times to look for a buyer ng kanyang chicken, funds coming from his Social Security, his last straw.. Then after yun 1000 tries niya, aba look what he has now, even he's gone.. He'll be happy on what his efforts done. Hope gives us a chance to try something out of our comfort zone. 

If we fail, well.. Hope is there na subukan mo ulit in another time, o better, other ways to make you happy, or even succeed. Lalo na sa mga panahon na to, there will be a lot times na kala mo tama ginawa mo, ayun mali pala at pag sinubukan mo naman yun iba.. Mali pa din. Ang hirap di ba. Kahit if you put your passion, love to that something plus hope with faith.. Aba wala pa din! Parang isang way eh sumuko na lang. 

Hope strives you to really become motivated even you've started all around again from the bottom. 

Like for me na lang with this current work, I mean, it's the next low pay I got after that first company na nagwork ako. Pero ok naman, I mean backoffice work, a sked na di naman ako stress, location na kahit medyo malayo pero at least mura at kayang kaya.. I'm enjoying it and besides, I can save naman so I can train for a better career that I hope for.. The latter part deals with hope I have that I can get the career I want in the future. Despite with the situations above, I never lose hope for the best. Of course, di lang short term, ang plan ko  naman siyempre it's also for the long run.

Hope comes best with prayer. As much inner will gives you motivation, iba pa rin yun support from all the people around you and of course, God. 

Family, friends and other sources like books, artists or even sa internet, the stories or articles that gives you hope not gossip or bad news. 

Despite all those bad news or elements, the best way never lose hope, look at the brighter side of things. You're alive everyday, nakakakain ka pa or better, you have a source of income. Or if not, you're still here. Meaning may purpose ka pa sa buhay na to, just make the right choices. 

Yes, for me, God is another source of hope that keeps me going. Through his words, his love at siyempre yun nature na he changes ways to know him then giving us surprises din.. Hope that sometime, he will make in place in God's time. But before that, siyempre, Jesus is there to make it happen bit by bit. 

Hope is not a cigarette but it's addicting.

It keeps you going even you're hurt, bruised or broken.

That hope is like a light, that never runs out. 

Reflections of Faith

Faith means believing into something. Parang yun ang intindi ko..

Dati, I don't really know what faith means. Of course, I am Catholic but other than that, I have no clue what really mean of faith. I was thought in my school na don't forget every Sunday go to mass at minsan may homework pa na reflection in the Sunday's gospel.

Follow the 10 commandments, do this and that, don't do that and this. Hay tapos walang katapusan dasal, can you believe may one time sa HS na may quiz sa CL class namin to memorize all the prayers? Bubunot ka ng isa tapos irecite mo siya! Ayos di ba, of course you'll fail pag di memorize. 

Even in college, although it has deeper discussions thanks to Theology and Ethics classes eh in the end parang kulang. But it doesn't mean I lost my way into oblivion! 

Thanks pa din sa family, close friends, and other people, even books to inspire to continue searching about what should I believe into. 

When I started working, then one time parang sa isang homily, one priest suggest us, the church goers to read the bible so to understand what God really wants to teach us other than rituals, traditions or even prayer.

I did, well.. Until now, I'm still reading the bible, kahit di ko memorize eh now I'm getting the whole picture of what faith really gets me. It opened not only for my faith but also my mind into different things, or maging understanding kung ano man nangyayari. I've become more close to God, especially knowing Jesus more and gifts from God like the Holy Spirit. I've become sensitive in doing things, even na sobrang busy ako sometime, eh I never forget to pray for him, every day.. To give thanks, ask for guidance at forgiveness and most of all, ask for love despite may mga problem or struggles.

All those years of reading and doing some service made me believe that God is always there. Now, I'm in a community, I always think na paano ko siya mababayaran, kasi alam ko besides the tithes, I need to serve. Of course, not only through writing, but some kind of service. Great thing, hinihintay ko na lang ang training from the community. 

Faith to Him made me stronger and never or at least lessen up a lot of worries in my life. Although I'm still impatient, pero most of the time, ayun like waiting in a date.. Just sit there and wait. But continue to believe that everything will be just fine with Him.

That not only goes with Him, it will also improve yun relationship mo with other people. Lalo na yun naniniwala sa'yo, aba eh dapat maniwala ka din sa kanila, lalo na if those people really shows they care for you. Like family members, closest friends, even your TL or team mates, yun faith to them builds trust at siyempre di lang for short term.. Malay mo in the long run aba, maging close mo din sila. Believing to a person with full of trust, love will make wonders. Despite may shortcomings din, aba pagtagal wala din yun. Moving on so fast like it's done already.

Faith also make wonders, sometimes miracles happen. Gaya nung may shop pa ko, minsan talagang wala na ko sa target in a half day's work, aba pagkatapos ng ilan oras, sumobra na sa target agad! Siyempre I have faith sa tauhan ko and system kaya I know if di ngayon, malamang later o bukas. Pero sometimes, even hope is lost or love is gone, something will really happen out of the blue due to faith. Gaya na lang sa team targets or any program na walang guarantee to work, as long you have faith, it will happen. Since faith can really make wonders, eh it can also help you being more confident and you don't care if you fail or so, important you've done the best in a certain role or something. 

Pero di naman lagi ganun, faith also tells you to let go of something. I felt, na it's not always for the better but also saving yourself. Sometimes kasi faith gives you confidence but it may translate to arrogance. Usually, financially, ayun nangyari sa kin, sa sobrang bilib ako na kaya ko na work and spending it all without thinking, ayun I was in deep trouble. Although tapos na, faith in myself na I can recover naman for the better is there. Kahit maraming financial obligations until now, mabuti nga faith is there to make me decide what's best or wrong. 

Faith is universal, it's not only about religion or sorts, it's about faith into something towards moral values, inspirations, relationships or even doctrines. A good faith for me, eh as long the man is becoming better, not hurting other people's faith or beliefs o kahit yun tao eh di nadrain masyado of what's believing eh ok na yun. 

Faith never rests, espeically in times that faith really test you.

Continue to believe that in the right time, faith is the one will save you.