Eye of the Beholder

As I stare this two people, I wonder... How they will go far? I mean, they seems to be having a connection already. I think of more than connection. The lady, despite the young age, I think she is interesting. I'm too old to call it a crush but maybe yeah, she's interesting. That's all.. The dude, as we were talking about nonsense earlier seems to be comfortable having his hand being pinched or let's say having a massage by my lady wave mate. Then they exchange the favor! But how those touches or those laughs together, I don't think that will be a simple interaction. Something I feel that vibe. Romance perhaps? 

I can't believe that in my college days, I was also in that state. Having fun with a special lady.. Of course, at first, we did not really have that communication. Thanks to that class directory and her birthday date, I sent her a text greeting her a happy birthday and that went off! Not only that, we both have the same liking, interests and that laid back camaraderie. Actually, she's one of the boys.. We became close and yeah, that's it.. It is.. It was.. However, despite the ups and downs we had, we remain close friends and I wonder what she is doing these days? I haven't seen her for years.. Maybe a couple of years. I don't know.. But the last time I heard from her, she's doing great and reaching her dream corporate position. I'm happy for her and I hope she's doing fine! 

And these two souls having these sweet moments together while in class, brings me that feeling. Of course, not in class but after class fun moments.. Just laughing, talking nonsense, advising each other and most of all, billiards and drinking booze! Kidding, simply having a fun time together.

I hope these two ehem, wave mates of mine find each other. Fast! Or I hope they don't end up like me knowing in a later time that  we're not for each other.. Well, a piece of advise? Just be happy together, whatever you have now. 

As for me, enough of that scene for me and get back to my own lonely station. Thinking... I need to pass this training! 

Those lovely days.. 

What if

(New Order Concert in Manila!)

Morrissey already played here. Hmmmm even the pathetic ones such as 1D and boybands, pop stars or even Taylor Swift and later, Katy Perry again for the nth time. When I’m looking at the posters of concerts and even music festivals, most of them, I don’t know who the hell are they. I don’t know even how they became famous. I admit I should have watch Metric last year! Ergh.. Darn.. Ah, I did not really dreamt going to RHCP concert..

It’s hard to imagine, we can bring from the most famous of stars, and even not really famous ones or even the one hit wonder artists.. Or how about the indie ones and up and coming acts whatever. Well, don’t count out those KPOP crap. How about Rick Astley? Hahaha My sister was like, her life was complete seeing that retired dude here performing, even forgetting his own lyrics.

Well, I could let them pass, but honestly one band that I won’t pass. Even in my lifetime.. Never! I believe Kuya Dong also waiting for this band in his lifetime and many of their legion of fans or die-hard fans… New Order should really perform here!

What if they made a surprise announcement tomorrow that one of their stops will be here, one night only? I don’t need to think about twice. I don’t know how much will that concert ticket be, but definitely, I’ll buy one! Hahaha If I could go to VIP, why not!  I don’t know if we will make a big streamer to let them sing our favorites songs, such one I saw in a concert done for Ceremony.

Running in my mind or maybe dreaming, seeing Stephen on drums, Gillian at keyboard and yes, guitars! Lovely couple indeed! Barney in vocals, and sometimes but I hope he’ll pass the guitars. Hooky on bass which it depends if their rift ends. If not, I’ll be fine who will be their bass player is but it will be sad for sure! I don’t care if it will be played in Araneta, MOA or PICC, or even in open fields or in far away in Manila.. As long, they will play here, I’m there!

Sorry, we are there! Hehe Oh yes, even they play in Clark like what RHCP did, no problem. We’ll camp if we needed to. Hahaha Here is the biggest question, what will be their playset? Playlist? Will they go from new ones or recent songs then going to old ones? Will they play some Joy Divison songs?!

If I will be asked what will make this concert worth it for me, what I want to hear in live? Ok, cut the crap! Hahaha

Joy Division songs!
-Love will tear us apart
-Transmission
-Shadowplay
-Novelty
-Dead Souls
-Atmosphere

I wish I could ask for more but that’s enough for JD, other songs I could think of is better sang by Ian if well, he’s here.

Now for New Order!
-The Power, Corruption and Lies album, all songs! Please!
-Blue Monday
-Ceremony
-Face up!
-Bizarre love triangle
-Jetstream
-1963
-Crystal
-Temptation
-Regret

The set will complete me! Actually, if they only sing Power, Corruption and Lies album and the rest are their choice, it’s fine with me. I don’t know with others. Hahaha

I watched of course their concerts in video, and all I can say despite they don’t really do encore and they have shorter sets.. All I can say they sound great at live. You can feel the great vocals of Barney except of his well guitar playing. The magnificent bass of Hooky that defines a new order song or yes, JD songs. How about the other two? Clever synths by Gillian and yes, the ultimate drum machine played by Stephen. I mean he’s my favorite drummer, the only drummer who can play from punk, pop, rock and every single genre. Hahaha Of course, my favorite bass player is Hooky.

Wow, what a band. I can’t believe that only or very few bands going into 2 totally different genres and still became great. From dark and moody but deep sounds of Joy Division transforming to a fun, yet electric sounds of New Order. I can’t believe that I know others love New Order than JD but for me, it’s the opposite. I just wish Ian is still here. I’ll explain it in a different blog about this part. But with New Order, it did give me some Joy. Ironic isn’t? Still they are my favorite band. JD/NO..

For now, well I hope promoters or some of them are fans of New Order so instead bringing c*nts,  and tw*ts that masquerade as artists.

How about bringing the real legends here. The ones who created a total New Order in music! I don’t care bloody waiting, even maybe I’m old as well.

If this did not happen here, it’s time to go elsewhere just to see them. I don’t mind doing that in the future especially if I’m well enough. Indeed..

"And I've never seen anyone quite like you before
No, I've never met anyone quite like you before
Bolts from above hurt the people down below
People in this world, we have no place to go
Oh, it's the last time"

Hiatus Series: Jdorama

Konbanwa!

Mabuti na lang ok na ulit yun Dramago.com. Mapapaadik na naman ako. hahahaha Sinabi ko lang sa isa sa mga friends ko what I do these days.. Writing, work, and sometimes reading at well these, watching Japanese dramas. hehe Yes, not walking dead, game of thrones or even breaking bad. How about Korean dramas or well worse chinese ones.. Nope. 

Why Japanese? Hmmmm maraming factors. But to start off.. I started watching these dramas nung nagrerecover ako. I mean just browsing the net and stuff, at dahil ako di ko naman hilig na sa US series kasi mahaba at bitin at worse, magdodownload pa ko. Korean well, they focus more into romance and some little action series but I just don't like all of them look the same. Magkakamukha silang lahat. hehe So I tried japanese dramas and dahil nagbabasa ako ng japanese news, I'm reading the ratings and some shows at asianwiki, dramawiki ayun na. Na adik na. hahaha At may jdramas.wordpress.com pa pala!

Hahaba pa ang explanation ko pero I'll give some good reasons. First, yun nga, most of the series eh maiksi lang. Ah maximum eh 11 episodes lang. Average eh 8 episodes. May series na 5 episodes lang pang weekends ata nila. May iba 7 episodes na usually panget. Nabiktima na ko. hahaha Parang 3rd episode pa lang, ayaw na nila. Pero yun iba na panget umaabot pa ng 10 episodes. See, with that parang ramen.. Masarap pag nandun na lahat at isang kain lang. Jdorama is like that, pag maganda, yun, sulit ang 11 episodes or less. May disadvantage din na siyempre bitin or parang kulang. Some of them may second season, yun nga lang next year, if tuloy. So, mabilis at ayos. Unlike Korean na mahaba with some of them parang di naman kailangan na episodes. Oh they have asadora, 150 episodes pero 15 mins each episode. Parang soap opera nila. NHK lang gumagawa nun.  

Second, it has a variety of themes na pwede gawan na story. From police stories, detectives, hospital, nurses, doctors, farming, countryside, siyempre yun usual love stories, family, action series, or even sci fi. Weird series like restaurant, food, quiz show, or even tourist destinations, or kahit law at yes, even business dealings at banks. Kahit mismong japanese language eh may series din, just finished last week. It means, parang lahat nagagawan nila ng story. hehe Interesting right? I'm surprised even Korean or Chinese dramas eh parang may kinopya sila from these jdoramas. Or vice versa pero parang mas marami ata galing sa Japan. Anyway, sanay naman tayo sa kopyahan. hahaha

Isa pa eh educational, I mean as Japanese culture is quite complicated from the language at gestures, eh matuto ka by watching a lot of this pero siyempre iba yun classroom setting. Pero nakakatuwa lang. Matuto ka din how they behave or even react at siyempre think. Kaya yun.  At lalo na yun mga medical and police series, may explanation agad ha. hehe Although of course cool tignan pag sa states pero di naman sila pahuhuli.

Discover other stars, which is very surprising. Kasi siyempre sa Japanese movies eh marami nang sikat or well known, mas marami sa TV! At nakakagulat they rarely do films than TV. Marami sa TV, eh madaya sa edad! hahaha Paano kaya sila nagmumukha bata. I mean, there is one actress, well example Amami Yuki. I can't believe, parang 47 na siya pero di siya mukhang 47! haha May series siya kasama si Takei Emi, di mother and daughter ang dating sa kin. Parang magkapatid lang. hehe Isang example lang yan. Marami pang ganun na artista na guys and ladies that looks very young at their age. Galing! hehe At yes, mashock ka na yun movie stars eh pagdating sa TV mahina ang rating or sometimes, they do support roles. Weird industry but interesting pa din. Pero may ibang stars talaga, mapa TV or movies, grabe ang rating. Ayase Haruka is a great example. 

Lastly, the production! I know, most of them overacting or minsan kulang but sa kin, ok lang. Gusto ko lang yun effor nila. To make the drama series interesting or watchable. I mean sure Koreans has good acting ability pero recently sila nagrise for that. Chinese, more into copying na din. Japanese talagang perfectionist. Acting tapos yun cinematography, ibang series kala mo film kasi ibang style or film ginamit nila. Then, yun cast and crew saka design lalo pag may flashback, di ko alam kung paano nila nagagawa yun pag 90's or backward setting, kuha agad nila, hanggang make up. Galing. hehehe Basta yun at siyempre nihonggo. 

Of course, may mga flaws naman sila at I know why they are less marketable here. Or kahit sa japan nakakapasok na yun Korean dramas. hehe Well short series won't work sa atin, especially kung ang goal ng network eh the longer the series, more revenue from ads. Unfortunately, most ng series sa japan eh like I said average lang ng 8. Well, average ng isang episode 45 mins, so pwede pa nila ihati sa dalawa, maiksi pa din yun. Usually gusto ng network at least 3 months. Parang malabo ata. Napansin ko lang. 

Isa pa, japanese has a lot of rituals which most of us don't do, or unusual. Like bowing. I mean mag bow ka ba pag nag thank you sa tao? hahaha Gawin mo dito, weird ka. Korean or chinese don't really do that. Lalo na pag nag sorry, luluhod at magbow.. No way dito. O kahit kakain, itadakimasu pa muna. Or may scene na papasok lang ng bahay, tanggal sapatos, sabi na tadai ma, then reply okairi,  if I heard it right. Daming gagawin di ba? hahaha Kaya well, unlike if you love japanese ok lang but unfortunately, others don't really want to see that. Gusto aksyon agad.

Most of the endings na jdorama are either not good or crap or bakit ganun or ok lang. Bihira lang yun grabe galing! hahaha Or bitin.. Yun napansin ko sa ibang series. Kabad trip nga yun bitin kasi aasa ka sana may second season, taon na bibilangin mo or wala na pagasa. Mga ganun ba. So yun. Yun iba talagang sana kahit kaunti ibahin nila. Mga ganun ba. Ok na tapos sa huli medyo maiiba pa.
Hay, gusto ko pa magsulat pa about it but hahaba lang ito. hahaha Pero I'll give some sites to check about jdorama. Ah by the way, dami ko favorite pero I refer yun mga series na pinapalabas nila ng 12 midnight. Grabe, lahat ng series ko nandun. Dahil siguro sa censor pero di naman censor, medyo mature kasi ang topics pero safe. hahaha  Sample na gusto ko last year, Suteki na sen Taxi. Must watch! Cool series, sana may season 2. Ah sample ng midnight drama  na una kala ko primetime, Shinya Shokudo. Galing na drama. Napaiyak pa ko ng ilang episodes dun. hehe Except for one series pero panget ang gawa, mosaic japan!Buti na lang 5 episodes lang ang bwisit. Eto na yun mga sites, actually pati chinese at korean fans naku matutuwa dito. Pati films pala kung buenas mayrun din sila.

dramago.com/dramagalaxy.com/gooddrama.net - iisa lang yan pero updated at pinaka gusto ko kasi sa lawak nag database. Grabe, kahit luma kung buenas ka eh nandito. Kaya after magshut down ng isang linggo, great at bumalik. hahaha may back up pa, gogodrama.org. May favorite site dahil marami ako nadiscover na ok na jdorama. 

dramanice.com - di siya lawak ng dramago pero grabe, kung addict ka talaga at gusto mo bago at raw meaning ilang days pa lang, kapapalabas lang sa japan this week, mayrun na sila! Wala lang subs. haha Saka yun iba sa dramago na wala, mayrun sila dito. Nakakatawa, pati pinoy films mayrun dito. Dito ko nga napanood yun this thing called tadhana. hahahaha Tipid! Yun nga lang pag raw minsan di na nila update to sub. Tiyaga tiyaga na lang kung maintindihan mo. backup niya dramacrazy.

myasiantv.com - well, wala siya malaking database like dramago, at lalo naman medyo delay siya at di advance like dramanice. Pero ang ok sa kanya, films at quality ng series. I mean HD format, kaya pagpinanood mo sa cellphone, lalo pag highend smartphone mo, sulit! HD. hehehe Yun nga lang pag bago talaga yun load nila, medyo panget pa yun subs, nakabox pa sa black. I sugges, wait mo ilang weeks para gumanda yun subs. Maganda kasi yun sulat ng subs nila. hehe 

Yun lang. Although kahit masakit pa din that time at matagal ako gumaling physically after ng operation, eh di naman ako malungkot, masaya naman ako lagi thanks to jdorama. Dahil diyan.. Bumili na ko ng nipponggo book. hahaha

Arigato gozaimasu! 

broken lines (collection 50)

True love is the greatest action you’ll do!
Everything and anything, is for you..
Even tired, weak and desolate, I’ll move.
Pain goes astray, simple smile is okay.

True love is the greatest word you’ll say!
The letters I’ve sent, few words I whisper..
I wrote short poems shows feeling that matters.
Declared love to made known and stood for all..

True love is the greatest feeling you’ll live!
Slow to rise, yet your presence is enough!
My afternoon delight is you always..
Thy darkness dawns, your aura lights me up.

True love rises even times of despair.
True love can stand through eternity..

Flashbacks: Dates

What a way to celebrate Valentine’s Day! Hehehe

One morning, while waiting at a certain mall, coming near me a lady that looks like, ehem.. Someone chinky. Anyway, played billiards, watched movies and ate out. Very friendly lady.. Sweet one and kinda sassy. Hahaha Talked hours over the phone and talked a lot. Also, hmmmmm we just like eating blizzard.

That was around 6pm in the evening, waiting around the school.. Despite it was kinda dark, a girl approaches, wearing some pinkish shirt and I thought I am meeting a high school senior. Well, nah. She’s older than me! It was a night to remember. We laughed, shared some stories and walked around then said goodbye. Not the last time we met.

Almost waiting for more than an hour, can’t believe that I’m doing this for a girl which well more near at the place we are meeting. I feel tired and getting impatient. For short, losing hope. Suddenly, a lady approaching almost everybody turning heads to her! Wearing in a blue blouse and just the right fit jeans and quite tall. Same as me.. After looking at her, she’s in front of me. She’s the one I’m waiting for! Watched movies, ate out and kinda talked long. Worth the freaking wait! Hahaha

Hmmmm while strolling around the mall, we just talked and laughed! We want to really get away from stress at home and school. I can’t even believe I can get close to her because at the time, it’s just I feel distant. Anyway, I enjoyed, she also enjoyed as well. I also forgot if we watched something, hmmmm maybe she’s more important than the things we did that time. An ideal girl I looked before. It never crossed my mind before that there is an ideal girl. What’s more to the standard that I’m looking for. Crazy idea.

We drank a lot of juices! Pineapple juice and orange juice. Hahaha Anyway, hmmm  it seems that we were having a great time, especially when one of my rock idols seated beside me. Well, what was important that night, is her. I got drunk not because of the juices, but maybe just her close presence. Rockin' the night with love..

Sitting at a bus, almost groggy and sleepy, a very long trip.. Beside me, a girl that I still can't comprehend. However, together, we are quite inseparable. That time, I don't know, staring at her giving me such love. Lovely feeling. I don't know why, even she's sleeping. Beneath her, I feel something bothering her. Anyway, we are now going back home. Even the bus was slow, middle of the Christmas traffic, I did not mind. Important is, we were going back, together.

That cafe was kinda dark.. Although I don't mind such dark and lonely atmosphere.. I still loved two things, the cold coffee dessert I'm drinking and the lady in front of me. Smiling, and laughing at the same time. We were having fun.. Despite a hot Sunday afternoon, it was filled with such cold love. Talking where to go, what to do and most of all, us. It was a special time. Lovely time.

Waiting outside of the farthest mall I can imagine. Well, she said she's on her way but well, as usual I'm the first one to arrive. Thinking what to say, or even what I can discuss. I haven't felt this for a long time. But I don't expect really something at the end. What to do or what she likes to do or where to go actually. I'm more anxious than excited. I don't know why. But, she arrived and we kinda smiled. A good start. 

I don't really matter. What matter is...

Love always comes in an unexpected date. 

Hiatus Series: Watashi wa Nihon ga daisuki!

I don’t know kung tama ang google translate. Hahaha Of course, habang nakahiga ka sa kama, malamang, puro net lang magagawa ko. Hirap tumayo, di naman ako pwede labas ng labas at mag galaw lang ng galaw. To kill time, well I watched Jdramas! A lot!

Dahil sa I read more news sa Japan equally about dito sa Pinas eh nagstart to nung there is a show called Doctor X na it’s going to have 3rd season and mataas ang dating rating niya in Japan. So I’m curious, well, I watched straight ang season 1 and 2. Wow, parang mas naaddict ako dito kaysa sa usual US shows. Pero it’s not the first time I watched jdrama. Wayback teens, first jdramas napanood ko were Strawberry on a Shortcake and GTO first live action. Di na nasundan yun yet until now, eto na, sumobra naman. Hahaha 

I blame asianwiki.com for this and of course, Eiga Sai, anime and Japanese flicks. Actually, I thought after watching a lot of Japanese films, eh mas marami maganda sa Jdrama. I mean mga actors and actresses that you rarely see sa films yet sa jdrama eh nandun sila! Hehe Not only I focused more on watching Jdrama but also checked some sites on how to learn nihonggo effectively, interested checking their culture, prefectures, even kawaii stuff or weird products, even CM (tv commercials na nakakatuwa talaga), a bit of Japanese music and artist (but talaga dominate yun idol groups and boy bands) and some politics, crimes and other news. Hahaha Don’t forget siyempre yun culture nila and food!!! Oishi! Hehe

Of course, marami din sila faults or even failures in their society, cases in point, gender equality and corporate working environment. Isipin mo nalang, medyo lamang tayo dito sa Pinas sa mga parts nay un. =) It’s a long story and comparison bout it. 

So balik tayo sa Jdrama. Hahaha With it, it helps to at least visualize how a normal Japanese community works or even etiquette, relationships and emotions that they usually convey. Saka nakakatuwa sa Jdrama, the stories they create it can be sobrang galing lalo na sa detective/medical stories, grabe naiisip nila yun! Or stories na simple pero in the long run, yun characters nagdadala. Or may mga storya na sobrang weird or stupid pero naisip pa nilang gawin interesting. Hehe Halata marami ako napanood na, thanks to Dramago.com. hahaha Dagdag mo pa yun like I said, artist that potray sa mga jdrama. Can’t believe some of them, either surprisingly old even they don’t look one or very young pero they can able to act like a veteran. Mga ganun ba. Pero, marami din ako napanood na lason, I mean waste of time kahit all star casts or sobrang ganda ng bida pero ganun na lang. hahaha Mas dumami ang crush ko when I watched a lot of Jdrama kasi yun iba sa kanila, less films but more tv appearances or shows. Japanese entertainment is a bit complex. Sa agency model pa lang, madaya na pero sige pa din ang mga artista nila, more share ang agency sa kitaan kaysa sa talent. Grabe di ba? Oh tapos paano sumikat, iba pa usapan yun, I can’t believe that the more CM you do with jdramas will give you long mileage. Parang yun film sa kanila although important pero sa artista, not a priority. Weird right? I mean great film actors/actresses are not that famous in Japan, siguro overseas. Yun sikat sa Japan are the ones you see more in commercials, shows, tv shows, and kung sa films medyo behind sa acting. I can give names, but hahaba lang to. Baka may mga fans sila na magalit! Hahaha Isama mo pa yun weird and funny game shows and Gaki no Tsukai!

Anyway, enough of the entertainment side pero one thing narealize ko, I love Japanese Women. =) Lalo na yun looks is like deceptive! Looks 30 pero 40 plus or iba 40 plus pero 50 na! Paano nila nagagawa yun?! Di lang looks, ugali na din despite, ehem medyo submissive or indecisive as well. 

Ah, because of Japan, I love eating Ramen. Nagcrave na ko sa Ramen, even katsu! Di pa din love ang sushi, maki or sukiyaki. Yakitori pwede na din. Pero dahil sa news and jdrama and films, aba TokyoTokyo di na ko kumakain, gusto ko sa Japanese resto talaga. Ramen lang pwede na! haha Damn ramen, the sumptuous soup tapos yun noodles na di bland with fresh garnish and meat na di ko ilan oras nila pinalambot.. Grabe!! Kakarelax ha. Sa katsu, few restos lang dito yun nakakagawa ng masarap ng katsu, tonkatsu to be exact. 

Pag punta ko Japan, hahanap agad ako ng tonkatsu and Ramen!! Yosh!!!!

Another thing I love Japan, eh scenery. I mean, different prefectures eh may kanya kanyang dating. Mapatropical or winter or autumn, spring, at mga tao din, dagdag mo pa yun hotsprings! Geez, kaya kahit sobrang stress sa trabaho, tanggal agad sa hot spring at ramen eh. Hahaha Dagdag mo pa yun ibang festivals they have throughout the year and iba’t ibang food mayroon sila. And the mascots, despite weird or kakabwisit, cute naman. Hahaha 

It’s sad that of course, they face a lot of challenges, such as declining population, low birth rate, the overwork human workforce, Japanese companies that are falling behind, very punitive and ineffective justice system and a lot of other troubles you may experience eh I still love Japan. Nung nagbabasa ako ng mga blogs or reports coming from gaijins(foreigners living in Japan), they don’t mind pa nga yun discrimination, kasi iba yun Japan. Fast paced pero lahat maexperience mo ok, convenience kung baga talaga. Customer service, sale ng gamit, even food service at siyempre vendos and convenient stores na mas pinupuntahan kaysa sa supermarket. Hehe Saka siyempre despite of course di naman perfect ang tao, ok ang mga Hapon ha. Very service oriented and honest, and sometimes I know masama din pero kasama na talaga sa kanila, Pride. 

So, I have plans siyempre to learn nihonggo and I hope may progress after some months. Hahaha In the future, siyempre makapagipon na going to Japan! Lalo na mas madali na ata kumuha ng visa, tourist madali lang ata na. Lalo na promote sila ng Cool Japan! And the coming Tokyo Olympics. Una punta ko, siyempre Tokyo at pag kaya ng loob ko at pera, Shinjuku! Hahaha Alam na kung bakit… Pag tagal yun mga province nila, lalo na pag April! The festival I’m curious about. Hahaha

And of course, being friendly din pagpunta dun, mapractice ang nihonggo kung kaya.. Hay.. Sa sobrang love ko Japan, hmmm I know how to be citizen, siyempre thanks sa blogs and wiki at one of the countries na sobrang madali magpakasal. Weird yet effective. Hehe May naisip na nga ko pangalan pag Japanese na. hahaha

Di masama mangarap, but I smile when I’m thinking about it. 

So des ne.. =) 

“Watashi wa jikan ni sotte no tame ni, Nihon ni sumu koto o yumemiru..”

flashbacks: Cooler Summer

(..End of Summer, Start of Rain..)

There was a time in my life na masasabi ko, satisified ako. One of the reasons, I love rainy season.. hehe I mean, despite sa stress and conflicts basta there is one thing that keeps you going, anything can be managed. Love is such a beautiful thing to keep. Always.

Never in my wildest dreams that there was a woman na tinanggap who I am and motivate to do better everyday, and yes, gives a smile in my face when I wake up. I also never thought that I'll meet na babae that is very sweet, yet fierce but gentle. Most of all, loving. Of course, admitted love first before even we meet in person. Despite the odds, and consequences.. 

Pero siyempre it took a long way before maging kami. I mean hmmmmm we were just chatting tapos texting, then talking over the phone, grabe mahal pa ang load noon kasi walang unli call! hehe Friendster pa noon dahil na din sa pics and stuff. YM and yun lang, exchange pleasantries sort of thing. Until one night...

She acted weird at nagdradrama, ayaw niya na makipagkita o makipagusap sa kin. Edi ako naman, siyempre di ako sumuko malaman kung bakit. So I called and sent lengthy text at yun thru probing, eh umamin. First time in my life especially searching that true love na ako yun di umamin agad. Alam mo naman ang history ko sa courting ladies, nauuwi lang ika nga today, friend zone. hahahaha Siya, nope.

Ako naman, napaoo din agad kasi first time saka for the record, less effort. haha Ang kapal ng pez ko that time. 

Anyway, after that special night.. There were no days na di ko siya pwede imiss tawagan or text kasi parang kulang ang araw ko. Without her sweet words or sometimes hate words, hahaha I really appreciate yun effort niya at ako din for her nung mga reply niya. Of course we can't help but eager to meet right away but due to some factors, we can't. =(

Well, a year past.. Or before going into our anniv eh we decided to meet, thanks sa election kasi busy sa kanila that time.. Pumunta siya Manila and sinundo ko siya from airport. That meeting was nostalgic, that glance of hers.. Her simple beauty mesmerized me, I mean in pics medyo di siya photogenic, pero sa personal.. Kaboom. hahaha Iba na eh. Wow..

So there, we rode a cab and stayed home. Mom was kinda surprised that day kasi di lang friend na girl ang pinakilala ko sa kanya, girlfriend agad. hehe So ok naman. Then first test of relationship comes right away. May pupuntahan kami event, reunion ng 4BA1, ayun meet number3, katapat si GF. Eh alam that time ni ex ang story ni number3, nakita ko yun lisik ng mata niya against her. Patay to, selosan agad. haha 

Pag uwi away agad. Naman oh. hehe After that and of course, honest naman ako at wala naman talaga kami ni number 3, eh maayos na. Well, she stayed for sometime sa bahay and she is always out everyday due to a lot of relatives, wondering until now, dapat, tumira na lang siya dun. hahaha Kaso, may rason kasi na di pwede ganun that time. =(

She went back to her home way down south... After weeks na she went back, then of course mas sobrang namiss namin ang isa't isa.. Biglang nagdecide siya na dito sa manila siya mag aral daw and magtapos. Grabe, I'm thrilled that time na akala ko I won't see her for another long time. But it will be soon agad. Wow! hahaha

That time, medyo buenas pa ko sa work kasi inilipat pa ko from HSBC Alabang to HSBC QC na nasa discovery suites pa dati. hehe So mas madali sa kin ang makita siya. 

Another surprise was well, sa amin pa siya titira! hehe Well, like others described. Live in na talaga to pero yun lang, kasama ang family ko dito. That time, I guess we did not really think others or what they say, what important is we just living full of love. =)

She went back at my birthday, one of the best birthdays I've had. hehe Then 6 months later we broke up. Sadly, we need to. =(

As much we did live together full of love, we faced reality within our midst. Fate like I always say against us. Dagdag mo pa ang other factors which won't be named but the ones who listened to my story, alam na. hehe Pero ganun talaga, sometimes, what you feel is for both of you is not in reality.

I realised we should blame ourselves for this falter. Noong una ibang tao pa, pero ung nagtagal, talagang kami na din ang cause. Lalo na if we we're kind indecisive in important things. Well, hanggang memorya na lang ang aming naging pinagsamahan. hehe

Di pa natapos sa hiwalayan, may problema pa after that! Lalo na sa side niya. Masyado naman siya pinarusahan.. =( Sometimes, I was so blinded due to love, naisip ko na puntahan sa place niya at check her out. Mabuti, natigil ako ng CRAP. hehe Ika nga ni doc, baka pugutan na lang ako dun. hehe Not kidding. It may be true.

I admit, it took me a longer time to move on due to well... How this relationship went far talaga, as much I want give every fun and darkest moments of this one, baka di na matapos ang post na to. hahaha Yun kasi.. Naisip na nga namin na magpakasal if everything went right. Edi magkakatotoo pa yun biro nila sa kin ngayon. hahaha 

I loved her caress and those lovely whispers.
I loved her natural hazelnut hair with that angelic face.
I loved her awesome dishes that she cooks, can match Mom's.
I loved her grace and posture.
I loved her voice, especially when she sings.. 
I loved her frailty that I should be besides her when panic starts.
I loved her above everything. Which of course, sometimes sobra. hehe

I used to send her something every monthsary, lalo na anniv. =) And she valued it. Especially my corsive letters, laki ng kinita ng air21 at lbc sa min. haha I wonder what happened to those stuff things. 

She also sent something to me, which some of them I kept. Hmmmm very good writer din.

What also surprised me, eh kilala niya ang mga taong malapit sa kin. Not only family, but lalo na yun CRAP, aba may time na lumalabas sila na wala ako! hahaha Which ok lang, at siya lang talaga nasama sa mga gimik ng CRAP, wag lang sa swimming, pahiya kami eh. hehe

Siyempre makakalimutan ba ang araw araw na taktak portion, ika nga ng CRAP kahit may reply madaling araw. hahaha

Everytime I tell this story, they ask friends pa daw kami. Nasan na siya, or nag FB ba kayo.. Siya yun hinanap. Grabe. haha As much I want to have connection to her, sad to say, I don't know. But I do know kung nasan siya or what. Block nga ko sa FB. hehe Mabuti pa yun iba, inadd niya, ako hindi. haha Bitter pero di naman. Kasi alam ko kung paano naman niya ko hanapin or well, she can just reach naman. Alam niya yun. Im just here and not really expecting from her. =)

The only things mattered for me after we broke up were she should be happy and free. With the news I heard from somebody about her, those things perfectly happened to her. =)

I'm now relieved. 

As for me, with all the ladies I met after her, medyo kinapos ako. hehe Because of her, bumaba ang standards ko. hahaha Kaso naging busy ako, alam niyo naman kung bakit at yun, ayaw ata talaga sa kin.

But it doesn't mean single na lang ako. Soon, there is one special lady that kinda gives me that love again. Ahay. hehe

Looking back, I learned a lot in that past relationship. Yun pinakanatutunan ko eh yun nalaman ko kung dapat yun tao pag nagmahal. It gives you not only joy or happiness in good times, but gives you hope in bad times. Of course, iba siyempre yun nasa taas, pero instant effect kasi yun iba ang nagmamahal sayo. Lalo na kung kasama mo pa parati. Saka masarap pag ang relationship defied all odds. hehe Paginiisip ko yun now, deep crap pala yun dati. hehe Sayang but at least we tried.

Kaya pag nanood ako ng eternal sunshine and blue valentine, peste naalala ko yun nangyari. hanggang dun lang. hehe

Great thing today, whatever path we chose for our lives, either way..

One time, as part of our lives, we loved each other.

Despite that coldness of rain, strong stormy winds, dissipated with the heat of the love. 

Cherished. 

Reflections of Love

Faith helps to believe more.

Hope inspires you to do better.

Love is above everything else. 

Out of the three, ang pinakaimportante eh Love. Without love, I don't think you'll enough faith for the long time. Without love, hope seems will be a bliss always. Love is such a word that is hard to explain. But that's the beauty ng Love eh. Once you find it, you are hooked about it. Of course, with some boundaries to avoid well getting hurt. Di ko naman sinasabi na we should stop loving, but sometimes, great love works with a pure heart and a clearer mind. 

Although one being doesn't need to have those qualities. It is God that always love us. Jesus is the symbol of that love through his words and what he did for us. Especially, loving unconditionally even he needs to sacrifice his life. His life to save us all.

And marami pa siyempre na may works of love or even symbols of love. What's important eh you do show love to not only the person you know, but at least somebody na di mo naman close. Or a nobody. Not always but at least, show respect or do some good works. 

Love also gives na something you can use to motivate o yun passion ba to do some things na kala mo di mo gusto. Pero in the long run, magugustuhan din. Lalo na pag maraming benefits na binibigay sayo than hurting anybody or even yourself.

Love keeps you happy, especially pagdating sa relationships whether it's a romantic one, or family relationship, o kahit sa team mo na sakit sa ulo binibigay. hehe At lalo na siyempre sa mga friends mo. 

Love is limitless lalo na if you're receiving it na di mo kailangan palitan agad. 

With Love, faith becomes deeper because you love yourself and love God more.

With Love, hope is also there despite odds or struggles. If it fails, well love helps to pick you up and move on. Sometimes, try it again. 

Love is a many splendid thing. A lot more things na di ko na maexplain pa. hehe Pero for the past years, love gave me light on the things or directions I should take, rather than meeting expectations or making even sa iba. 

Di pala maganda yun, parang I forgot myself. I even ended up not loving myself because it's pushing me away from peace, or even great things such as relationships.. Parang iba na yun mahal ko na dapat di pala. 

Now, I just realized.. Well, I should really enjoy loving not only them, or also Him, but also don't forget me.

Love gives me calm, and I hope, a day will come.

That calm will rule a whole day despite everything is crashing through..

Love will make a way.

broken lines (collection 31)

Pag-ibig, kay sarap kumabig!

Laging hinahanap, inaasam..

Labis ang aking pagiisa,

nawa'y mahanap ko ang pag-ibig.

 

Pag-ibig ay sadyang mailap.

Bagama't ako'y nagsisikap,

sadyang mapait ang kapalaran..

Pag-asa, di kailan mawala.

 

Pag-ibig, kay tamis mahagkan!

Gising sa umaga, ika'y tuwina..

Babaeng nagbibigay mukha,

puso ng tunay na pag-ibig.

 

Ang iyong mga nakakatunaw na titig,

Ang iyong mga magaan na haplos,

Ang iyong mga salita na nagbibigay liwanag,

Ang iyong mga nakakabighani na kilos..

Lahat na ito, pakiramdam ko'y buhay ay langit na.

Walang ikakatakot pa, kahit ano pa man, walang hanggan!

 

Pag-ibig na ikaw matamo.

Pangako'y magmamahal ng labis,

di magaalingangan wagas.

Bawa't sandali, dapat punuin!

Pangalawa sa Maykapal, gaya niya..

Ibigay ang lubos na Pag-ibig!

Daddy Freddie

Throughout the years, I'm kinda distant with him. Honestly, at first after what happened, eh I was harsh or had bad feelings towards him... But panay naman bisita ko sa kanya and hingi ng tulong. hehe 

However, feelings changed and it's for the better. =)

As I unravel some truths and logic, and spending more time with him, I can proudly say I have a loving Dad. Besides giving me a simple but good name, he really provided me everything that a father do. Values you need to know while growing up, working hard, hmmmm right decisions in life kahit di ko pa nagagawa, magdrive kahit di ko natatapos ituro sa kin.. hehe Doing errands like pumunta sa mga hardware and other shops, be tough kahit siya eh mas nerbiyoso pa sa akin. hehe To pray din, and read a lot. Most important is finishing education which I hope he did see me graduate.

A lot more he did teach me sa buhay at siyempre, mahal naman ako niya like Mom. He love all of us despite our shortcomings or approach niya iba't iba bawat isa sa amin. We're blessed to have him always as our Dad. Of course, a lot of memories with him not all eh masaya but some really fun, like yun Circle days namin, or even his treat out.

Although not perfect, I can say he did everything for us to provide what is good or sometimes what we want in our lives. He never runs out na mga paalala niya about life, especially health. Kasi naman with all the health complications he experienced, eh sobrang nagpapayo na siya. Diabetic, kidney stone removal, and triple bypass heart surgery.. And he's still here. Thank God that he was able to overcome all of it!

I know it's a second chance for him for this life and he is still doing it until now for us. Even he should be retiring but well, he's working. Maybe he doesn't want to stop working because he doesn't know what to do if just sleep or resting all the time. 

Sa kanya ko siguro nakuha yun talino, hmmmm mahiyain. hahaha Nerbiyoso din ako.. Makalat din ako kahit lagi naman ako naglilinis! hehe Ah matiyaga, at sa pag gastos din. hehe Palatawa at faithful din. Moves o diskarte to ladies, I don't know. It's our genes perhaps.  Bwahahaha Reading din ha saka sipag sa aral.

Saka responsibilidad and accountability. Doesn't really show he's in worry even a mountain of debt comes or any other event comes. Pero sa loob, sobrang kinakabahan na! haha Parehas kami.

I hope there will be a time na I could spend not only more time pero siyempre treat out din or giving him something he likes. 

I want to say thank you Dad for everything you did di lang sa kin but all of us sa family. I do understand what happened to us sa family, or even in your ventures. Like you always say, kapalaran talaga. But don't worry, I'll do my best to kahit papano, change fate. Or if I can, defy fate.

I always pray na you'll have a long life, be productive, at naku magpacheck up! 

We love you always, God bless and please take care lagi ha. Always really check yourself lalo na sa health. We'll do our best to make you proud. I know I have shortcomings, and I'm sorry to fail you but I'll do my best to make up for it. Dad, if you need something or kung gusto niyo help if you need any.. Don't hesitate to call us po! hehe

And if you think you do have shortcomings sa kin or hurt me anytime, ok lang yun. That's done, I'm thankful and I forgive you, like Mom. I'll always love you and yeah, the second eh. hehe

Mabuti naman di na wanbol tawag niyo sa kin. Malamang wala na eh!

One day, I can drive you around with my car. =) 

Mommy Gert

Well, her name is very unique that the only person I know who has the same name, is her. Gertie, hmmmm The only other person or character used this name, one was a animated dinosaur around black and white age. I'll research on that later. hehe Other one, was in the movie Moon but the spelling of that name if I'm not mistaken, Gerty. Not pronounced as well Gertie. 

Perceived as others na maganda siya, paano kasi she really takes time to dress herself, kahit sa suki lang siya pupunta. hehe At she chooses the right clothes up to the accessories din. I hope namana ko sana yun kaputian niya. hehe 

Most of my friends, siya yun second na kinakamusta after me, maybe because pagpumupunta sa bahay namin, at siya nandoon, very welcome siya at nagaasikaso sa guest. Lalo na pagnapaparty ako sa bahay dati, naku parang di siya napapagod. Eh lalo na sa pagluluto niya, aba yun kanyang mouth watering, ever tasty recipe na russian salad. Nadiscover ko lang yun name sa Conti's with a hefty price tag but they say, Mom's version is better. hahaha Maybe I should that recipe, kahit yun lang alam ko. 

Di lang yun, aba marami pa siyang recipes na talagang sabi ko sa kanya she can join the pinoy masterchef contest and try if she can go until the finals. Sa dami niyang alam sa pagluluto, alam niyo naman result nito. 5 overweight and healthy siblings. hehe Sa kanya ko din namana yun very metikuloso sa paglilinis sa bahay. O kahit maayos sa gamit, which di naman lahat naayos ko sa kwarto. hehe Pero well, sometimes she still does the work or even wash clothes kahit sabihan ko na wag na but one day, ayun naglaba na. Of course, di lang naman ako kain ng kain di ba, natuto din ako sa kanya mamalengke at the very young age, around 10 or 11 ba. Basta, dati every morning punta ko sa Muñoz Market para lang mamalengke, kahit ilang kilo pa dalin ko pauwi, ako na! hehe

I can also say, na di siya pwede all the time sa bahay. Very active going out either with friends or relatives or some errands. 

On top of that, she's a very loving Mom that I can be proud of. Especially noong nasa skul pa ko, siya yun pumupunta sa meetings or kuhunan ng cards or event na pwede siya. Until I graduated college, she's there smiling and proud na tapos na ko ng skul.

Siyempre di naman nagtatapos dun, after years of working, and yes, difficulties coming left and right, back and forth eh she is still strong despite this broken situation. I honestly say that even she's not the Mom that I thought to be, I still love her. Despite some disagreements o kahit yun tampuhan eh sa huli, kami eh tuloy pa din yun pagsupport at pagtulong sa kanya. Even at times, that I'm alone, which is parang all the time. hehe Naiisip ko yun memories na maliit ako tapos sinasamahan ko siya wherever she goes! I remember noong sinamahan niya ko sa Uncle bob Children's Club show nung maliit pa ko, aba she's cheering out for me at a certain contest tapos after 10 seconds, talo ako! hehe Pero sabi niya after that, ok lang yun.. May next time. We ate outside na after that. I did not feel I lost that game or enjoying that day with that show but important is, Mom is there for me, loving and encouraging me that move on after that. 

I know it's impossible for having them together because of such complex issues pero I do understand her part but I hope, she'll learn to forgive and move forward. Think other things that really gives her happiness other than tangible things or money perhaps. Great thing for her, lagi siya nagdadasal at gumagawa ng paraan not only for her, but always kasama kami kahit di na kailangan. 

Important is we, the siblings are always here to love her, and give her a feeling that she's our best mom! =)

For me, despite sa mga nagawa niya sa kin o yeah sometimes I can say I was hurt by her.. But now, and how long I'll live.. I always love my Mom. I already forgive her and I want to thank God, for giving us a Mom who is this strong willed and thoughtful as always. Forgive us as well po if we have shortcomings, a lot. hehe Lalo na po sa kin, kaya sana at alam ko na napatawad niyo na ko, at di kayo magsasawa magmahal sa min. Thanks for your love. =) Sorry pala din. hehe

How thoughtful, well hanggang ngayon tinatanong niya kung ano oras pasok ko, san ako and ingat sa paguwi and sorts. hehe Even I thought she can leave me alone but I feel that's how Mom's role to her kids. 

I love you Mommy always! Mwah! 


Yeah, I'm thinking of getting cooking classes from her, di lang taste tester lagi. hehe 

Ah, yeah, sayang may pangtatapat na ko sa kanya sa pagluluto kaso.. Alam niyo na nangyari. hahahaha

Kuya Allan

As our eldest brother, I know I should look up to him in a lot of ways. A lot of ways..

However, it ends up we need to kinda support him or at least, tignan siya lalo na sa age niya.. It's quite sad but, he's still our big brother.

He quite inspired in my cultural preferences. Gaya na lang ng japan culture! Nasama ako lagi niyan sa greenhills just to buy newtype magazines. hehe saka yun hilig ko sa anime, nihonggo, anything bout japan, sa kanya ako nahawa. haha hmmm some of 80's new wave interest came from him kasi naman, he has mobile works and used to play vinyl, doing remixes and listening to 89.1dmz.. Kaya ayun, nahawa ako. hehe

Ah, yeah kahit sa anime, eh he can really draw, lalo na sa shirt.. Bayaran lang yun shirt at pintura. hehe Movies! I still remember his VHS collection, lalo na yun galing siya US, tapos naguwi siya, yun na. I admit, ako tagasira ng player niya.. Paano ba naman, pag wala siya, siyempre pag may mga R flicks or hentai, eh alam na gagawin sa VHS player.. fast forward na! haha Pag nasira or nakain yun ribbon, tahimik na lang. Bwahaha Sorry bro... 

But thanks to him, I was able to watch the greatest films, like Star Wars, Godfather, Indiana Jones and other classics. Now, ako naman tagahanap ng mga trip niya. hehe

Those were the things that he kinda inspire me or to get my preferences ah one more thing, playing computer games! Sikat kami noon kasi may Atari, Nintendo, Sega, Sega Saturn, tapos Ps one, PS2, then yun na. Plus some handheld consoles pa. Pwede nga kami magkaroon ng game museum because of these games. hehe

Don't forget yun mga collection niya ng mga figures, of anime characters.. Like Gundam, Chun Li and other characters. I tried that before pero, wala talaga ako talent, lalo pag coloring part na. hehe 

Yeah, that's why despite his stature today, I still love him. Even with his temperal attitude towards others kahit parents ha, pagdating sa kin.. Di siya ganun. Geez... hehe Weird but ok lang. Although, paglaki ko he become very distant from me kasi from endeavors eh pagnakita naman kami, we talk like kids, what's the new thing, computers, gadgets, downloads and other stuff.

Kaya sana, kahit ganun siya today, lalo advice ni Dad na intindihin na lang siya even siya eh na hirap din. hehe hay, even other siblings cannot help him.. Gerro even doesn't want to see him. Like I said earlier, may attitude kasi that really won't work with other people. 

Well, for now ah I hope and pray na he can have an opportunity to work as a productive person. Lalo na now may Aljune na siya and be a good father to him. I know it will be hard to change his ways, pero I pray na if he thinks these changes are not for him, at least for Aljune na lang. For his future na din. I still believe in him, and it's not too late for him to make steps toward success. Even everybody seems lost hope in him.

Bro thanks sa lahat at sana one day, if everything eh easy na lang... Play all day! hahahaha

Bro, thanks for giving me interest at least to overcome boredom or sadness.. =)

Ate Aila

My real biological sister. Great thing there is a rose between the thorns. =)

I can say that as much for my dedicated sister in the family. Well, to tell you the truth, we only got closer when patapos na ko ng HS until now. Eh those years, I have not really find which sa family that I can ask help or confide with. Mahirap ang mga taon yun sa kin, kasi naman for what happened but important eh at least may isang tao kahit papano nakaintindi sa kin. =)

Well, sana magkalapit kami ng edad pero hindi. Almost a decade ang agwat namin tapos ayun sinasabon pa din kahit ngayon. hehe I still remember those fond days of staying at her clean room with tons of vinyl album covers, namely most of them, Rick Astley! 

But yeah, maraming bagay ang tinulong niya sa kin. Una na diyan eh sa math! I am really slow at math before, lalo na sa multiplication table. Pero siya yun nagtiyaga sa kin magturo every Sundays noon, that was wayback grade 4 pa ko. Sobrang tiyaga niya sa kin at nagbunga naman. Ayun, ok na ko sa math until now except for word problems. hehe

Hmmmm ah siyempre, UST! Ganun to kaloyal sa UST although siyempre ibang batch and courses kami, nabigyan naman ako ng tips about her experiences. Ah, taga gawa din ng project siya lalo na sa mga art project at T.H.E projects. Artist naman kasi. Permanship lang talaga ang di niya natiyagaan sa kin, kasi ako naman ang may problema talaga dun. Until now, crooked writing pa din ang dating ko. hehe

Kahit strict siya, well.. Tama naman siya but not all the time. Especially these years na may mga sinabi siya na kala niya ginawa o ginagawa ko pa din pero di niya alam. I'm done at those things. I learned my lessons and ayun, pinagbibitangan niya pa din ako. Even I want to reply at those things, di na.. Palampasin ko na lang at kalimutan ko na kasi di naman nakakasakit sa kin. Kaasar lang minsan pero sige pagbigyan ko na lang. hehe

I even became close to her noong tumira ako sa kanila in LP for my HSBC years/ex years. hehe Siyempre, may bonus ka pang kasama like Kuya Dong, my wonderful brother in law and the kids sila Pristie and Kathryn.. Sobrang laid back at saya, lalo na sa music and movie lover at one of the funniest guys I've known na si Kuya Dong.. Mga medyo sosyal pero mabait at masipag na mga pamangkin ko. Very active Pristie at sobrang jolly na si Kathryn. Well, minsan nga kakahiya talaga tumira dun kasi siyempre family yun, panggulo ka pa. So, ayun they let me feel na welcome naman ako lagi sa kanila. =)

Ah, as years goes by.. There, they have a very lovely home.. A better living and yeah, I can see na masaya sila. Lalo na si Ate, although ayun there are problems to solve pero gusto ko kay Ate eh malakas pa din loob niya na they will go over what's happening and making ways to make life simpler or easier. 

Even she only cooks some foods and not perfectly.. hehe Pero as a wife, for me, ok na siya at kaya't mahal na mahal siya nila Kuya Dong and nila Pristie and Kathryn. I forgot, yeah thanks to my lovely Ate eh nakakapagregalo ako sa mga nililigawan ko! Siya ko nakuha yun mga tips for gifts for girls. hahahaha

Ate, I know for now you will tell what's best for me and other members of our family. It shows how you love us very much despite of what's happening or so.. At the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you for it and don't worry, I hope, as in my case, trust me for my decisions or ano yun gagawin ko for life. With all your advices o kahit dati, ikaw yun taga curfew ko, hehe I learn a lot and I won't do any actions that really ruin my life. I know I've a lot to prove or achieve pero sana just leave me and let me live what I can and wanted to. 

One day, you'll see what I am talking about. =) I have my own plans and I know what to do. Thanks pala sa lahat ng mga tulong ginawa mo, alam mo na yun kung ano. hehe Sobrang dami tinulong mo sa kin, like this computer that I am using now, even it's medyo bibigay na, eh tinulungan mo ko how to get this one before. =) I'm sorry if sometimes pasaway pa ko or failed pa din. 

Kaya, I pray that you remain as you are or improve siguro sa cooking. hehe And be a guide sa mga magagandang pamangkin ko, alam ko kaya ka ganyan kasi you love them but also learn to feel and attach to them in a nice way. At siyempre, be a good wife, I know di mahaba pasensya mo, pero due to your love kay Kuya Dong.. Aba, medyo humaba ang pasensya mo at I can see and feel that you love Kuya Dong always and forever. Naks.. Parang nakita ko yun phrase na yun sa frame niyo. hehe

Be strong and enjoy that you have a close and loving family. Both you and Kuya Alpro are lucky and blessed, you both have a loving and supporting family which I believe one day, success will come. 

Don't forget to pray to Him always.. And, for us.. 

Continue to be a great loving Sister to us. =)

Until now, well Stephany is a great medyo social name. I don't know Aila, where did our parents get that name? hehe See? Siblings have quite weird names. 

Except me! hehe

Kuya Alpro

The reason I don't smoke was because of him. =) Very graphic yun nakita ko dati like he's in sick, spitting blood dati especially nung teenage years pa siya.. I saw that and said to myself because of that graphic effect of smoking which na tinigil niya din eh di talaga ako magyoyosi. I still stand that decree until this moment. No regrets about it and kahit peer pressure na matindi coming from work or other people, no way I'm going to smoke. 

But other than that, siyempre idol ko naman si Kuya in other ways. Like his built, addict sa pagpapalaki ng katawan even he still feels maliit pa daw. He's well built already. Another, if there's a great example of coming back in life eh kahit di naman siya tapos ng college, mas malaki pa kinkita niya sa min magkakapatid! hehe It's all due to hard work, smarts and preseverance. Sipag at tiyaga talaga in layman's terms. Even sa dami ng experiences niya from different companies eh or different ventures na pagdaanan niya eh he end up sa kanyang long standing business. Cellphone business. How many times na ako nayaya niya? Around 3 na, pero in the end eh nagsama naman kami for some time, 3 years. I know it's a worthwhile business relationship with him eh ganun talaga, iba yun trip ko saka nagkamali lang ako ng diskarte for the 4th year of running the biz. At nagkataon pa nawala ang great job na gusto ko pa naman. Alat na talaga. 

Saka bilib din ako sa tibay ng loob ni Kuya, with all the misfortunes and losses, he's still standing and doing the same strategy all over again. He just don't quit kasi siyempre inspired to do a living not only for himself but also for his family. =) Kaya talagang I can't rebutt in some things kasi well, he's doing it for his family. I can give him advice all day but he's still the one will decide what's good for his family. Marami ako natutunan sa kanya, from sales, dealings with customers at siyempre sa mga tao mo. Diskarte sa negosyo, financing na din and dealing with suppliers, at san mo hahanapin ang suppliers din, at paano din ang working relationship with them. Ika nga niya, sa negosyo lahat ng aspeto malasin ka na o bad shot na, wag lang ang relationship with your suppliers. Tama nga siya, aba kung bad shot ka sa kasyoso mo o supplier mo, aba wala ka ibebenta. hehe 

Despite some troubles lalo na this year for him, I know he will do a lot for the good decisions for the upcoming times. Sana he can handle the finances well for his family needs at the business needs na din. I know he has a strong faith dahil lourdesian at never questioned God for everything bad happen to him. Kahit kinukulit niya ko magexcercise aba, don't worry tol, I just need some funds at equipment, may video na ko ready, magiging fit na din ako. Wait and see. hehe

Tol, kahit malayo agwat ng edad natin eh nagpapasalamat pa din ako na ginabay mo ko sa buhay. Kahit di mo naman ako nagpapagsabihan like other brothers do, looking over your younger brother, alam ko naman ang reason eh. Lalo na may pamilya ka na, as I always see you naman, I don't need some advices na or sermon siguro. I can handle myself and due to the events that happened to you. Pains and joys that you've experienced and luckily, surviving these hard times. I hope one day, you'll understand that it's really better to live in separate ways. It's not I don't love you or like living here together, but it's better for your family. Peace na din at walang titingin talaga sayo, lalo na si Mommy. hehe

I hope and pray always na magkaayos na kayo, alam mo na kung sino sila. hehe At I pray for the success ang longevity of your business and I hope it will grow kung di naman same venture, other profitable venture. You can always approach me for some help, wag lang siguro talaga sa pera. hehe Sorry tol na din kung I failed you before, lalo na sa mga magkasama tayo sa shop. Kung ano yun nasabi mo sa kin, ok lang yun, di naman ako galit or whatever, tapos na yun. It helped me a lot, at sana coming from you din. 

Continue praying to God at yes, just come close to him and di lang bagay na physical na bibigay niya sayo. The one you really need, peace of mind. Pray everyday and do good na din sa ibang tao, kahit simple tulong sa iba, malaking bagay na yun for him. Jesus will guide you all the way and yes, Holy Spirit will give you strength and wisdom that you need each day. =)

Lourdesian ka at you need to be strong to your faith, hope and love. hehe I always pray naman to Prong na he'll guide you and sila Ate Jen at Jeleane. Speaking about them, aba dont' worry. I love Ate Jen like my Ate at lalo na ang una kong pamangkin si Jeleane, I'll see what I can do to help her in the studies.. I hope jeez iba na ang HS ngayon, sakit sa ulo. hehe At siyempre guiding her as she grows old. 

I don't know if I was able to really come close to you, but what I feel for these past years..

I did come close to you, Kuya Alpro! I'm really proud of you! =)

Very ironic, sana iba na lang pangalan mo, pero sabagay yun Al panalo eh. Pati sa chicks dati nung HS! hahaha Joke

3. the Girl from the Red Planet

As I look at her everytime, that lovely face really can't just remove from my head.

Time really flies past, and that face never change.

Like Helen, a face that can launch a thousand ships.

First look, well at that time, I know she is beaufiful but kinda quiet and conceited. At first? I never thought of knowing her. Ever.

Well, thanks for her birthday, I was able to greet her and that's the start of a friendship...

We had so many fun times, from booze sessions, to playing billiards and travelling all over manila. Meeting her friends, meeting families as well and getting through college ending in a good note.

We do have many similarities. From watching anime, playing billiards, (which I learned from her, I don't really play billiards in HS), getting lazy at times. hehe Most especially, even we don't smile, when we're together, it seems it just full of happiness and fun!

Ah, yeah we do had some conflicts but not that really serious.. Just petty conflicts. hehe Yes, I did fall out at their house due to damn liquor. hehe I am so ashamed...

After college, yet she became successful at sorts. Getting an higher decree, being assigned to a good position and having a nice car. hehe

Being with her everytime seems no pressure, and add to the fun we are getting, it's a different feeling as well.. Let's say the boundary between love and friendship. I don't know if that exist. hehe

I tried, but I failed. Ouch... hehe But, that's fine, I just want to say that I'm glad to know her, and being friends with her for a very long time.

I want to thank her for the moments we enjoyed.. The times we shared our bad days. hehe Being bossy and brave to face those adversities.

I was inspired as well like we do have same problems we faced in HS then changed in college. For the better.

Am I hoping again for her? I don't have an answer for that today. hehe But I don't need to answer that, because I already told her about it..

Important is, I'm just here and here, always.

I know she is not that sweet, but she doesn't need to.. All I can say is, once I see her, it makes my day damn right. hehe

I just hope for her the best to her life especially to her career, improve more and well, less drinking dude. hehe

Damn these days, she is better drinker than me. hehe

Damn... One time, I can't speak when she talks, just a simple sigh. Hay....

Ah yeah, she did not come from Mars.

broken lines (collection 7)

Ito ang ibig sabihin ng sinulat ko. hehe

Nang mawala ka sa akin, ikaw at ako'y nawalan.

Ako dahil ikaw ang minahal ko nang lubusan at ikaw dahil ako ang sa iyo'y lubusang nagmahal.

Nguni't sa dalawa ay ikaw ang higit na nawalan, dahil pwede kong mahalin ang iba tulad nang pagmamahal ko sa iyo nguni't ika'y di mamahalin tulad nang kung paano kita minahal.

-Ernesto Cardenal

Akalain mo, pari nagsulat nito. Galing.

Akalain mo din, isa siyang palastas na ikaw ang magaral ng Spanish.

Galing. Bravo..

I listen to.. (disk 4)

After falling in love, actually I am literally "Lost in Translation", love that movie. Bill Murray at it's best, and Scarlett Johansson is also at it's best. hehe Except for Anna Faris and Giovanni Ribisi, forget them, but I won't really forget this movie. Damn great, another reason why I should go to japan. hehe

I was carried away but one thing is good at the film as well, is the soundtrack. Speaking of soundtrack, let's add some songs here. hehe

1. Just Like Honey (Jesus and Mary chain) - Yes, Sofia always use Air for her films, at least for two films, but this song really fits to it. Damn. hehe It used in the movie and the trailer, simply great, describes the vibe of the movie especially at the last scene. Nothing else to say, I'm lost. :)

2. Build (the housemartins) - One of a new wave classic coming from not a one hit wonder band.

3. When you come back to me (World Party) - From Reality Bites soundtrack which I always forget to download. hehe I don't need to explain why it is one of my favorite songs..

4. Us (Sugar Hiccup) - I thought Five Years is good, but this one is better.

5. Won't get fooled again (The Who) - I discovered this from CSI: Miami and well, damn good rock song.. Yeah!!

6. Maybe (Up Dharma Down) - Short yet strong song from them. I love the music video as well.

7. All these things that I've done (The Killers) - Yeah, since they are coming here at Jan. 31 and I don't have a ticket (poor me..), I can say this is my fave song from them. Great fit for the Nike commercial. hehe

8. Ain't over till it's over (Lenny Kravitz) - Fave song from him. Others thought it was a girl who sang it. hehe

9. Come away with me (Norah Jones) - Fave song from Norah and one of my fave love songs. I love it so much that well, I offered this to somebody.

10. Rapture (Blondie) - I was surprised when I discovered this song in MTV, damn chick rapping good. hehe This is so old school rap pioneer.

11. Izzo (Jay Z) - Yes, I listen to rap/hip hop music and yes, one of the reason is this damn n*gga. hehe

12. With or without you (U2) I always sing this song in karaoke nights. Simply lovely song.

Till Next CD.

first OT

yes, after almost 5 months of working here, and because of the outgoing strike in India, we need to render OT.. actually it's voluntary, but we volunteered to do OT since well, big bucks.. hehe I just volunteered for one hour.. so there.. nothing changed today..or even yesterday.. the Lakers lost yesterday.. they have a lead on halftime but for the second half.. it's Celtics pride came in.. they won.. easily I guess.. even Pierce seems to shake off his knee injury.. good for them.. hehe the next game will be on Monday morning here in the Philippines.. so I need to wait, we all need to wait.. good job.. so the real work starts this month.. with the arrival of the new queues.. good luck to us.. hehe but that's fine, as long there is avail time or break of course.. hmmm tomorrow will be our last day of the work week.. time flies so fast with the added load.. hehe and my birthday is coming as well.. I don't know what to wish for.. maybe just for a better life.. better future.. more guidance.. and help from God.. that's all I guess.. hehe I always hope for the best of my life.. life seems to be gleam these days.. but we should never give up.. not yet.. Love? not yet.. I am interested to meet somebody but going into relationship this time.. in my situation? not yet.. forget it.. hehe maybe when I am recovered, that will be the best time.. recovered from everything.. haha now, what else to do.. I do not know what else to say.. maybe I am so busy now.. but that's fine.. I can take it I guess.. this pressure or whatever.. what are my plans in my new days off? on Sunday, the CRAP will watch kung fu Panda.. it has great or positive reviews.. and it will be my first time to watch an animated film feature since.. I don't know when was the last time.. hehe so it will be a fun first day off.. and on Monday.. I don't know yet what to do.. maybe slack and get some rest.. that's all.. some planning again..hehe what will I do next.. by the way, next week will be our performance review and we hope that we all get regularize.. hehe it will be a good start if that happens in my career here in Dell..

I hope that everything will be in place in the next half of the year.. all my major plans will be executed.. or some of my problems will be solved.. so that's it.. I hope also a better future of the people around me, like my family, friends, team mates.. I just hope that everybody is happy.. God bless us all.. hehe anyway, that's all I can say for today.. I just need to focus to finish my job today.. I am kinda sleepy as well.. good day, take care, good luck.. God bless to all..