flashbacks: Sudden Move

Ah no, not another sickness or stuff.. It's just the sudden change of heart. One simple night, I was not feeling well. I feel quite dizzy and tired even I haven't start my shift. I took the rest and slept.. It started for a day or two then it became weeks, and that's it.. The end. 

I end up well, out of work. I suddenly left.. That time I didn't know the reason why the hell I left! But as weeks passed, then a month went by... I thought I was just dead tired. Not the work, but simply the shift I'm working to.. I can't go on working at night. How stupid I am believing I can do it, or able to cope up the shift but as months passed.. I felt I'm fooling myself and of course, I am forgetting the other important chores that I need to do. Geez, I can't imagine I forgot my responsibilities not only at home but also to myself. I always catching up sleep or rest and ending up well, going to work again on a Monday night. It means, the rest days are not enough for such days off. 

I know it sounds crazy but yes, I was crazy that I left. I know I sounded happy in my previous post about this new job of mine but there were signals shown to me. I felt tired for most of the time. Although I'm enjoying the work but it seems as more work coming in, I became more sleepy at work. I almost got fired by sleeping at work, well.. I'm sleeping besides my operations manager to make things work but I promised I won't do it again. I was able to do it but I'm not eating lunch. 

Yes, at least 4 times a week, my lunch time was sleeping time. That was the only time I can catch up sleep which I can't do in the morning or afternoon. I did say the truth that one of the causes of not getting enough sleep was working doing besides at my room. The chinese temple building! Every single day, it was really erring and unpleasant to me, then you add the hot summer time, how in the world I can sleep! Well, it took months before I can cope up but it was too late. I just made a decision to sleep at my lunch hour. 

That month, I was working diligently but pressure mounting left and right. Left was my work, and the right was at my home. Workload increased although not the pressure, it just I need to adjust but the one at home really gave me the hardest pressure. I should make some sacrifices to satisfy such forces but in the end, I can't satisfy them both. As for me, I just want to get out for a while and think again. I thought doing that at work but I may end up sleeping again for the whole time. I'm demotivated and tired so well, how about just stay at home.. Running to my head at that point and I must say, I sudden made that change. Why not stop working and get out and think or start again. But first, I want to breathe a morning fresh air. 

However, before I can do that, I did have sleepless nights as my body still accustomed working at night.. Trembling in fear about what will happen to my status and at the same time, what I need to do next! All of those thoughts running in my head starting that week. The following week that I decided..

That Sudden Move.

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Sa totoo, kinakabahan ako sa Monday kasi apply na for work! hahaha For now, wow, tapos ang blogs for 2 months, feel the rush talaga! 

This month, naextend ang pagiging NEET. I'll explain that later. At napasobra ang pahinga. Pasaway talaga ko this month, not only well not working but sa ibang bagay din. Kailangan na talaga magadjust at higit sa lahat, start into something new. This month is more of a breathing excercise. Inhale and exhale lang. Bahay, nood ng jdrama, sulat dito at doon.. Mag mukmok at magisip at gawain bahay. Damn, naisip ko, I'm too old for this.

Anyway, moving on and now I'm back to start, zero, beginning, simula. Wah!!! Ubos na ang 2TB. Grabe.. Buti na lang may kasunod na HDD, kaso well, I need a real back up na. Meaning all my files at take note di pa ko nagbubura ng mga ibang files na dapat wala na, naka 2TB na ko at lalampas pa. Kamote talaga. hehe 

I admit, I still have the fear pero next week, time to face the fear. Staying away sa email, FB and others gave me a breather.. Gusto ko sana lumayo talaga pero, no budget. hehe 

Mabuti tapos na ang May at pasok na ang start ng Rainy Season.. No more pawisan days.. I really hate the scorching heat!! Pero yun lang, Lord sana wag naman o wala na parang Glenda ha. Parang awa nyo na. hehe Ah, yeah, June na, birthday month na. I'm thinking that let's  make a regular day lang ang araw ko. Sabagay, as years passing by, kaunti lang naman bumabati sa kin. hahaha Ano ba to, nagpahint pa ko. Pero, yeah, masubukan nga, lalo ngayon, broke pa. 

Let's see what June can bring.. Lucky month perhaps? 

Bilis naman matapos ang limang buwan. =(

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Can we just move on to February? hehe Hay, as much I want to be great or at least good sa work eh mukhang alat na ko. QA lower than last month, and some bad luck na din kasama sa QA, ayun, kadisappointing. I'm surprised why they still ask questions for me for help even they have better QA scores than me.. Absurd isn't it? hehe

But anyway, yeah, for this month that's a big letdown. Parang di lang March ang malas na month for me, (according to previous years.) pati na talagang itong month na to. I don't know why! Siguro I need to do those new year rituals to put away bad luck, such as maraming bilog na fruits sa mesa, (I remember marami naman kami nakahain), jumping with those coins (which I don't like to do), making new year's resolutions (which only confuses me for the rest of the year and I have kept some already), at marami pa. Nah, I don't believe that much sa mga ganun. =)

Well, important is to move on na lang to the next month. Besides, I have 11 more months to make it up and to do better. By the way, mabuti nakabalik na ang punishing fire ko at mukhang maayos naman. No major letdowns or any weird happening to it. Pero once pagtagal nito, I'll just get a sammy one due to service and warranty. Damn these china's other brand spinoffs, very tricky. For now, important eh may film fest ulit ako, but not every week kasi sa sked. Important eh unti unti nakakapanood na ko ng straight. hehe

Yeah, another great thing, hmmmm as much I want to go to other brands, eh Philips seems to be keep enticing me to get one of their in-ears. I did at this one, I can say, even not louder as yun pioneer na in-ear pero very crisp naman after burning it for 50 hours, at way better than MOS in-ear, with it's tough cord at really fit in my ears. Sana black na lang kinuha ko. hehe Kaso light blue or aqua is enough.

Despite lowered QA score, I kinda like the work, not stressful like taking calls or so, may pace kung baga. As much I want to it RAM type of work pace, di pwede! Bad trip, kailangan metikoloso. hehe Unlike RAM na pag nakita mo lang yun type ng transfer eh ratsada na agad, kahit walang second look.. Dito, damn really need to check every detail. hehe Even for a third look, hay kailangan maayos pa din.

So, for this one, I need to be detail oriented and definitely careful so I can reach high QA next month. Or just to pass it will be fine with me. Medyo bagalang ko na lang lalo kung maclose ko yun task. 

For this month, definitely better than last year. I mean, last year eh binibilang ko na lang yun araw enjoying working sa RAM because of its demise.. Now this year, although not getting a good score eh I still have a simple yet fun job. Kakasabi nga ng isang TL kagabi, stay and aim for high scores and position, you'll be somewhere in the company. Nasabi ko nga 1 year, I want to be in a different position. Just to do something different than agent or so.. I'll just do my best every day at my work and to help the team. Always. Stay siyempre! 

Otherwise, at the back of my mind, at my real mindset...

I have other plans.  =)