Kakatuwa naman that for the past months eh may mga flashbacks ako nakikita.. Like yun dating CG head ko kinasal na.. Yun mga ka CG dati ko masaya. Tapos eto lang nakita ko yun bulletin na nakafeature yun CG namin. Tapos yun LST na nakakatuwa na natapos lang last week. All of these moments were fun and yet solemn. Especially I'm in this great community for 5 years! Oh God..
Well, at last, I almost going to finish ng isang series sa the feast for the long time. Parang 1 and a half year ako nawala kahit nakakapunta ako pero not that regularly like 4 years ago.
Yes, 4 years na ko, and kahit may nawala, nabago, nakuha at nadapa at ano pa man.. Nandito pa din ako sa The Feast PICC. Can't believe it! Thank Jesus. hehe Actually sa mga nangyari sa kin for the past months, naisip ko na lumipat ng location.. Not sa community, maybe due to economical purposes or my own convenience.. Pero in the end, nandito pa din ako.. Sa first session at the PICC. Wow, I just don't know why I'm still going back. God has indeed some plans for me this year. Maybe just stay put at this session.
I admit that for the past years eh talagang nagfocus ako masyado to improve my skills or even planning ahead. I became selfish and quite arrogant din. Pero, in the end, I just failed after these hard fought months. Lahat ng yun nangyari at ano ano pa, nagpapasalamat pa din ako kay Lord na nandito ako, at ok pa din ang mga tao sa palagid ko. Ako lang ata nagkasakit. hahaha
Of course, marami ako babalikan at makabawi din. Pero I'll start here, time for God and parang first time nga ulit ako. hahaha Parang first time, lalo na wala na ko makita or balita sa mga kaCG ko dati. Geez, sobrang busy ako at I lost touch sa mga kasama ko dati. I missed those days, so parang looking forward ako na start again and maybe, for real.. Serve na.
It is so refreshing, to see na this Feast PICC going bigger as every year comes. Akalain mo 5 sessions na after 4 years! At siyempre, it goes wider na din with more locations. I don't have a suggestion when it comes management or the services itself, I just pray na they continue on what they are doing at lalo na improve. Of course, always ask Him for blessings, grace at guidance na din for this community. I sound simplistic these days, I have reasons for that. I just want to get back in all basic aspects, spiritually is the most important part.
This year, sabi daw yun mga ox babies eh medyo buenas. Sa nangyayari sa kin inside and out, parang hindi. But what I believe, this is the time, which I need Him the most. Yes, the real Light.. Jesus! =)
Wow, 30 years and 365th day is coming to a close. Can't imagine that I'll be a year older in after 8 hours. hehehe
Looking back those 30 years, this space won't be enough and I must say that although I'm happy but not satisfied. Oh dear, I haven't reach anything yet. hahaha However, despite the ongoing challenges I have or struggles not only within me but also around me, I can't believe I'm still here. I realized He did give a purpose to live.
I can't go back to those years which I could avoid mistakes or failures. I can't even go back yesterday, and I don't want even to frown by it. Sometimes, even I done something good or great, I know I'm humble or not really going into it, but I'm not valued or a simple thank you will appreciate it. But sometimes, when everything such in a wrong direction or failure even I did not take part of it, it is my fault. Worse, I'm part of the blame. Its disheartening, or I felt I'm worthless. Worst of all, they brand me, selfish which most of time, I'm not. Especially these past years until present time, I don't know, am I still selfish? It was painful. Very painful. Thank God I'm such a forgiving and loving person.. hahaha
However, if I feel that bad vibes all the time, I won't be here. Mind you, I won't be writing either. But thanks to some close people and of course Him, that I feel valued, important, and most of all, love... =) Even in a small number or sometimes, not really related, that keeps me going thru this ironic life. Willing to fight, willing to share or if it needed, sacrifice. Now, whatever happened in the past, is done. I can't go back or get back or even revenge.
What I can do for the next many years ahead are to be mature enough to accept mistakes or failure. Learn fast and cope with it. As I think for the best of other's, maybe I should also think for the best for me. Be healthy inside and out, geez less eating perhaps. Change. hahaha Live life that I want to in a honest and stable way.
I may have current hard responsibilities or mountain of challenges with a bit of good luck going but I won't give up. I feel that by His presence alone, with the help of my family, friends and others, I could endure and win!
Besides, I can say..
Those 30 years past is worth living anyway.
I'm going to make the next years, let's say..
Fruitful.
Thanks for those past years..
Dapat Ring! Ring! ulit ang post ko, pahinga muna this month. hahaha
Nawala yun internet ko, nagkaproblema pa well sa ibang bagay pero good thing is, blogging is six years old! Wow.. Six years of pure I don't know, rants. Joys. Heartaches. Failures. Disappointment. Hope. Faith. Love. Life.
I can't anymore enumerate words that can describe how writing kinda help me to be steady in life. But siyempre, di pwede habang buhay na steady lang. hahaha Kailangan mag grow na din. =)
Yun look nitong site na to, after some ergonomics and met someone that might fix it eh magagawa ko na. Di lang agad agad. That will include wordpress na din. hehe Damn pagdating sa design and stuff, I'm so pathetically not talented.
ah yun isang site ko, malabo pa this year, pero next year possibility due to some err changes in life. You'll see. hehe So kinda of focus at the things I need to finish first.
New topics might emerge and some things might be revealed. Depende. hehe Yes, despite writing for 6 years, I haven't reveal all of it. I don't plan to do it anyway. hahaha
Definitely, I'll fix this posting, even in the smallest grammar o spelling medyo aayusin ko na ng mabuti.
Una pala siyempre yun aking net connection. Ah kahit infinite eh naisip ko, iba pa din ang true connection. hehe But sulit ang infinite ha, isang bayad ka lang. hahaha
What else? Hmmmm Just more feedback I guess and readers. Yun lang.
By the way, if there are followers or readers here, I just want to thank you from the deepest of my heart. Naks ang sweet. hehe I'll do my best to write more or for a different topic. If there is anything you want to suggest, feel free na message me. Like yun sonnets vs. haikus, well, I did it with fervor, it just di lang nagtagal. hahaha
Thanks to all for the support or feedback given, kahit nega or good, ok lang. =) I'll just improve.
I'll do my best to put pictures! hahaha Pero depende, nagstart na ko sa Movie reviews. =)
Thanks to God for such not only blessing, but a gift. 6 years is darn fast, at that time, I'm so morbid and broken but one of the tools that helped me healed, you are looking at it!
Thanks siyempre sa family, friends, acquiantances, ah experiences, places I visit, food that I ate and everything that I can sense. It served inspiration to this writing. =)
Naisip ko din, parang kaya ko ata magsulat ng libro. hahaha Like Ring! Ring!, geez, dapat maiksi lang yun, lintek, isang taon ko na sinusulat!
Ah what else, hmmmm wala na. Salamat pala sa mga nagchismax. hehe
O siyempre, thanks to my ever reliable, desktop computer!
I can't believe pa grade one na pala tong bata. hehe
Seventh Haven?
Every Sunday for me, I always feel a first timer at the Feast. =) Then it became two years. hehe
Two years in a beat, I can't believe that despite sa mga nangyari for me, eh I still believe in a brighter day.
Two days from now, one workshop will make me, a servant sa community. hehe Never in the back of my mind before na not only joining in a catholic community but also serving pa. All I want before is just to see those writers sa Didache, like of course, Bro. Bo. =) Now, I have a pic with him, tapos nagpapirma pa ko ng libro niya. hehe
Along those years, I never felt na this optimisitic and laid back. Of course di pwede laid back sa work and other stuff, or errands, I mean pagkatapos ng lahat na pressure or stress, take a rest, give praise na tapos na at ayun sabak ulit.
With LOJ, I met a lot of people, different classes sa buhay.. Thanks siyempre sa 2 CG sinalihan ko, one from Sis April then ito with Sis Mitch sa Call center CG. Ang dami ko nakilala at siyempre mga friends na din. hehe Sa mga outreach and activities na ginawa namin with those CG eh napasaya pa lalo being in a community and of course serving the less fortunate. Ah dapat pala bigyan ng malaking pasasalamat si Doc Ian kasi sa mga gamot na idodonate niya lagi tuwing humihingi ako sa kanya. =) At after these years, akalain mo nafeature na mga CG namin sa bulletin. Nasawa na nga ako sa pic ko sa the feast bulletin! hahaha Very fun yet proud!
Too many to mention to those people I've known.. Sobrang dami nila. hehe Sana we can still meet after the sessions, at nakakatuwa na halos sila nagseserve na sa different ministries.
I want to thank of course LOJ for the recollections, programs, hmmmmm KCON siyempre, lahat na natutunan ko or kahit minsan di na ko nakikinig dahil siyempre sa pagod or tight sked, I had fun naman. hehe I definitely won't forget the speakers not only made me laugh but also had a everlasting impression how to live with God's infinite love everyday. Naks. Deep. hehe
Ah to all the Feast builders, siyempre salamat for having that patience and boundless energy to make every session worthwhile. Hmmm Naisip ko mahirap talaga maging builder. Lalo na if you're targeting a certain audience or growth, due to expenses din, but they never stop. With the help of all the ministries, making the Feast sa bawat location eh one of the happiest place on earth! As they always say. =) Mahirap din maging role model, or leader to be exact for a community. Kaya kailangan natin din sila ipagpray lagi. hehe
I want to thank LOJ, for this wonderful experience, as time goes by for me, parang nagiging closer ako kay God, especially recognizing Jesus with the gift of the Holy Spirit. It is true na like nasabi ko sa isang interview, it helped to heal me, my past failures to move on na at higit sa lahat appreciate God's love. At nachange ko yun image of God that is merciful, loving and grateful one.
Like now, with many unfortunate events, I never stop praying, serving at least and loving God because I know, these struggles won't be long, God's love is forever. =) Of course, minsan pagkapasaway pa din, pero now I'm motivated to do things for a change, and I know I can do it not alone, but with Jesus' promises and now with the blessing ng Holy Spirit, I can feel that whatever problems I face, it's not the end for me. Or even for us. =)
I feel that once now I serve for the community with a great work sked na.. hahahaha
This is just the beginning of something greater that God has prepared for me. =)
I can't wait for it. Just say yes to Him!
