love/less

2 days ago, Valentine's seems to be a normal day for me. For short, sounds bad. hahaha Hmmmm Darn, it's been like 8 years now that I spent a real valentine?! Is that how time works fast these days? Definitely, it's my fault that I'm still single, especially my dear sister who is referring someone to me. Oh God..

Well, do I really feel loveless? Simply not. I mean, come on if I felt loveless after that split, I won't be here anyway.. I felt that despite, those hard circumstances, I received love anywhere or anybody else. Sometimes, I also forget to love myself but others seem to give me some. hehe God never stops loving indeed. Through his son, Jesus, for the past years, I kinda just take it for granted. But I was wrong, I just give up.. It's my fault especially in my past mistakes or failures.. I do forget, to have some love left for me and other things I love to do...

I know I might sound, let's say religious or what, but yeah, Valentine's day happened coincidently on a Sunday. hahaha It happens as well, I had fun that time. Even I'm single, and everybody kinda rushing after the worship going into dates or stuff.. Me? I just went home and do some laundry and feel blessed. Yes, I know there were some luck occured to me for the past years but it's not enough to be to succeed. I should say, more blessed because despite the things happened to me and others, we kept on going and getting these chances in life.

Love indeed keeps a person going thru this and I will make out most of it. I will build luck thru hard work and some risk to do and at the same time, doing what I want to do perhaps. Finding Love? I just let it come.. Besides that's better than stressing myself looking for it. It's proven anyway and it happened just years ago, it just came short. hahaha Love myself. Those words, put a smile on my face now..

Not selfish or selfless perhaps. Put some love to myself.
That starts soon!

For now, hmmmmm Where should I find more love?

How's being Single on Valentine's Day?

Fine. 

I'm fine that I won't need to rush buying flowers and then have a date with special someone in this very hectic day of love.

Everybody seems to be in a hurry with a smile in their face.

Longing to give not only such gift, but such love that lasts forever. 

I'm fine despite missing that day when I make a day in a month to have valentine's day. Of course, valentine's day is special but a monthsary is like the same. Give a gift to that special girl to feel that a month is like years that you've been together and loving amidst all odds and difficulties. I miss those days... 

I kinda made this day special now, by eating something sweet. Start off with my favorite salted caramel in Mcdonald's at lunch. After my tiring shift, I went straight to the terminal and while waiting I sip some cool coffee shake. Sweet indeed. 

Kinda liked when the FX arrived. At my left very tall and slender woman, around younger than me, very pretty. At the passenger's seat front, also another beautiful woman, reading some think book about money and investing, kinda like this one because the other has some make up, this one.. Less make up and beautiful. 

I kinda sigh well, thinking they have also dates around this day.

I went home and go straight to studying than well, roaming in a mall or other places which I know has traffic jams left and right. Avoid going to restaurants, bars, or even parks, all couples just want to have a special time in a special place. 

For me, this day not special. But I won't be sad or bothered. 

Still waiting and longing that one day, this time will be special because now I have someone to prepare a date or even prepare a meal to cook for. Or set a date in a different place, in a great sunset or under a moonlight.. Those kinda romantic scenes.

I know missing won't do anything but let's say I'm quite reminiscing those days. 

I won't push myself making that happen soon or tomorrow, but just be inspired every single day passed. 
Whatever happens that my status won't changed for some time whether single or getting married.. 
I should really never lose that feeling..

Feeling of not being alone in this ironic life.

Better yet, I should start seeing somebody and set a date.

No need to wait for valentine's day.

That way, hmmmm I'll change my answer to that question perhaps.