Purple Rein

Like I said, I saved the best or worse for last. hehe When we were together before, she like the color purple. I can see that the way she wear clothes, even shoes. Her smile, captivating and her looks could be deceiving but in the end, I really fell in love with her. Naks. Totoo ba to? Senti ka ata Alfred, lagi naman hehe Actually, there many words to describe "Pudit", my ex. Nonetheless, even it ended up that bad, I mean we did not end what we want due to some factors we can't seem to solve, I will never forget her. Like I said in my previous posts, I am still seeing her image in my room or even in the living room or even at the kitchen which I still remember she used to cook for us. hahaha

Hay, kaya eto tuwing nalulungkot ako or naguguluhan sa buhay, I always thought of those events in our relationship, whether it was good or bad. Maraming mga pangyayari na naisip ko, pano kaya kung ginawa ko ganito, or dapat ba ganun ginawa ko. Parang may pagsisi ba sa mga desisyon ko, pano ba naman 1st GF, naku ayaw niya tawagin GF lang I remember. hehe Pero it's a 1st what I call my better half. Naks. But that's true, if we are able to go through these problems before, sigurado, siya na lang ang babae sa buhay ko. Patay na! haha Ang tanga ko talaga, kala ko pa naman, kung gagawin ko lahat ng gusto niya or namin, kakayanin namin pero hindi pala.  

Tama na nga ang bitterness, let's talk about her na lang in per se and those happy moments. hehe I mean tapos na kami and there's no sign as of now that will be together again. Umaasa pa ba ko? Hmmmm In how things work right now, nope. But I am not losing hope, but I am also not expecting na rin because until now, di pa kami naguusap. The last time we talked, was like March of this year, after that, wala na. Nada. Pero on the way I checked her profile, it seems she is happy right now. 

If you read my previous post, if you really did, I always say that I hope she is ok, or fine. Or lagi ko siyang hinahanap, kaya ayun nakatanga minsan. hehe Talagang miss ko siya and I lied before. hehe I do love her. But however, that can be changed in some time or gaya ng sinabi ko, if I find somebody can show a different kind of love to me, then that's it. It will be a new relationship anew. Siyempre, di naman ako pwede maghanap ng katulad ng ex ko coz she is the only Rein in my lifetime. She also shown me what love really is, true love. Romantic love. Kahit anong sweetness gawin ko, parang mas sweet pa siya sa kin. hehe 

I still looking forward to meet her sometime, even for just one last time. hehe When I do that, that's the time I can have a smile in my face at least for sometime. 

"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. "

Correct. hehe That's exactly what happened to us. 

Well, I want to tell more about her but I think it's best that to close this for now, and let's see if we are going to cross our paths and rekindle what we have started, Love. I can describe that our Love reaches beyond the boundaries that we did not even imagine, and if I have a chance, I want to happen that one more time. Kung gusto pa niya, lagi ko siyang bibilhan ng KFC brownies. hehe Siguro nagugutom lang ako, kulang sa tulog or kailangan ko na ng professional help. hahaha Salamat ng marami, at alam ko nasabi ko na din ang gusto kong sabihin but sana ok ka and successful in the future. 

By the way, I first called her Rein. Why? Because before, I promised to myself that if I am going to have a special one, I will call her differently than the usual nickname. So that's the name I called her first then it became Pudit. hehe 

I love Rein..   

Quotes to ponder

Siyempre hindi ito galing kay Bob Ong. hehe Nakita ko to sa kahon ko and it was a letter I received from a retreat wayback in College. Villa should have a copy of this, or any of my friends in 4BA1. haha I was able to keep the letters of my friends and especially from my retreats in school. Kapag ako'y malungkot or nababagot like this week, I am used to read these past letters. hehe Let's start..

"Take some time to think about these...

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands, and then eat just of the one of the pieces.

I have done more harm by the falseness of trying to please than by the honesty of trying to hurt.

If yo have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not falling down but staying down.

We all live in susupense, from day to day, from hour to hour, in other words, we are the hero of our own story. 

Inside myself is a place where I live all alone, and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up.

I don't need a man to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we'll ever have is the one with ourselves. 

I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live; it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.

It's so easy to think about love, to talk about love. But it's not always easy to recognize love.. even when we already hold it in our hands.

Lover starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. 

It is hard to walk away if you will be losing someone who has been a part of your life. But it will be much harder to stay, if loving him would mean losing yourself. 

Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut deep as you  allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them. 

A sad thing about life is that when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and we just have to let go. 

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we know how to be grateful for the gift. 

In the maze of love, try not to loose yourself so that when love is no longer willing to stay, you still have with you the greatest possession and gift no one could ever take a way -- yourself. 

You can hide the pain that you feel and make others believe that you can move on but you can never deny the truth to yourself that the person who has failed and hurt you is still the person you will always choose to love. 

Whatever happens, it happens for a REASON. No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE. No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK. And no one fails out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE. 

There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me; there are some love that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky to end with that somebody who has little of that insanity. Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever. 

Life is not meant to be fast. Life is beautiful. So try to be slow and savor them all that Life may bring to you... for being hasty will you make miss some of the Life's best things and best things in Life are free.. 

HAPPY RETREAT!!! "

When I read this, all of them almost happened to me. Touching I can say. Lalo na yun part that says "You can hide the pain that you feel and make others believe that you can move on but you can never deny the truth to yourself that the person who has failed and hurt you is still the person you will always choose to love. " Parang ako yun ha, and si Rheg and well all of us who had a break up this year. hehe

By the, condolence to Mark Bautista, who his mother just passed away yesterday. Mark was my HS classmate, same section with Igz, Ian and Rheg, so I hope he will be ok and I know his mom is now at good hands in heaven. Let's just pray for the best of Mark and his family.

Actually nalaman ko lang ito when I woke up due to so many messages in my phone and that's one of them. I went to Arlington asap and talked to Mark and good thing, nandun kami ng mga brothers ko. We talked a lot but cut short because me and Igz have work tonight. But if we can return tomorrow, we can drop by again.  Speaking of break ups, while we're talking about break ups and relationships, parang this year ata eh year of the break ups. Parang hula daw last year na this year is not a good year for relationships. Totoo kaya yun, kasi of course, mga brothers ko except Ian eh single na, pati si Mark and yun isa namin kilala break na din ang kanilang GF then some friends ko din, so this is not really a good year to have a relationship, sabay ba to ng economic crisis? hehe Bakit naman ako di nakaabot man lang ng January 1 at break na kami? hahaha Oh well, sana next year ay ok na dapat ang relationships. All of us has a right to be happy with a special someone. 

So, that's all lang talaga ang bago, well, nakapaglinis ako ng shoes, kasi naman, letcheng maynilad, nagbakbak na naman ng kalye malapit sa min so yun mga grabe and putik dumikit sa shoes ko. hehe I was to clean them, good thing. I just love my shoes I guess. 

By the way, its Joanne's birthday today, 10/30/08. Happy birthday dude! hehe The varsitarian editor in chief in our college days. Very good writer, speaker and friend as well. hehe Dude, sana naman libre ka ng lunch para naman macelibrate ang birthday mo, kaso di ka free. I hope we can celebrate it sometime. Good luck to your new job and God bless as well, take care! 

What else? hmmm as of now, I just want to finish this week and rest. I have plans for this coming weekend but I just keep it with myself. hehe Thanks Ann for the letter, and tomorrow's blog will be senti. I keep the best or worse for last. It's your take. 

Am I still here by xmas? hehe 

rainy day

Well, after my shift I went home with my umbrella. hehe Ayun ulan ng ulan at pagdating ko sa bahay, I watched some shows kahit alam ko na di na dapat panoorin. hehe I took a bath and sleep right away. Masarap ang tulog ko coz of the rains, tama lang ang lamig and walang istorbo. After that, ayun straight to work and that's it, I am here, reading some news and bits about everything and nothing new except the fertilizer fund whistleblower is now home, at last. Namuti ang buhok sa kakaisip. Sana makonsensya siya kasi marami siya alam or kahit papano may alam siya kung pano naliquidate ang fertilizer fund ng ganun kadali. hehe

I think I will have a record for the most postings in a month. hehe I will know that at the end of this week. Medyo naaddict ako sa kakapost because maybe what happened to me this month and boredom I guess. Sana ok ang aming CE for last week and I hope this action plan will end by November so I can move on and start contributing to my team. hehe 

I don't know what else to say because I already said what I want these past days. Actually, I already know what will I post for the next coming days, but I will reserve the best for last. hehe Oh well, ayun pala, nagtext si Lynn at last, tnx lang daw.. hahahaha Wala na talaga, so I guess wait and see about her na lang. If that's the case, let's go to plan B, let's meet someone else or whatever. 

Oo nga pala, may Bipolar na kaya sa Music one? The biggest question is, ok kaya? Mas maganda kaya siya sa Fragmented. I will post my question later sa groups. hehe Kung hindi maganda, sa Tower Quiapo na lang ako bibili. hehe Ayan, wala na ko masulat. hehe 

Ayun, good na naman ang CE namin, so one more week and let's see what happens. hehe 

Lynn

So, I will be writing an advanced posting tonight due to some boredom. hehe Kung si Villa walang magawa, ako naman, while at work and idle, wala din magawa. hahaha May blog na naman siya na interesting, kaso ang haba, daming tanong na dapat isagot. hehe Anyway, why Lynn? Who is this person? Actually she is a friend of mine. A special one. hehe Anyway, this is the person I described in my blog under the title of "ang tanong na may sagot" dated, let's see if I am right, hmmmm 08/28/08. Almost 2 months na pala. hehe

Hay, it's a start of the a new week. I was able to test a desktop computer which is so cool, I wish I could have one like that. hehe The XPS 420, damn computer, so powerful and fast. Wala naman bago. Pag ako nagkaroon ng computer na yun, dapat magamit ko araw araw. hehe Unless there is any miracles. hehe Ok, why Lynn? Because it's her birthday today at 12 am of 10/28/08. hehe Happy birthday to her. Well, I don't know what to wish for her, actually we don't have any communication since last month. Siguro busy sa work, kasi naman, ang work niya is kinda hectic and may quota siya sa work, so sana makapahinga siya today. I believe wala siyang work today because birthday leave niya, yun ang sabi niya when the last time we met. hehe

Oh well, I hope ok na siya and whatever her plans are, I hope she will be successful. Hmmmmm, she is a special one for me, of course, like my college friends know, talagang siguro she is "perfect" what I knew before. I described her like that kasi naman, almost every trip, pareho kami. Hmmmm di naman kami nagaaway, minsan lang. hehe What else? Mabait naman siya, matalino din, tama lang. Maganda kung sa maganda, partida di na nagmamake up. hehe 

So, why we there is no relationship? I don't know either. hehe Maybe it's like she like someone else other than me, until now, so I don't stand a chance for it. If I want to pursue courting her, well, before I thought I can. But for these kind of times, I stepped backward and thought of, maybe I need to solve my problems first before going into trouble. hehe Or into this courtship thing, it's just I have so many things bothering me. I need to resolve those things first. Besides, I am not in a hurry. Yet. Depends if love comes to me like before, but if that comes, then I should do the right decisions. Well, for Lynn, I don't expect anything from you, if you think that you have no real feelings for me, that's fine, like I always said, I am here for you always... Naks, ang sweet naman ng ungas. Kaya bigo. hehe

Oh well, ganun talaga ang love, it's ironic, once you have it, it's the greatest feeling, but when it's gone, it's the painful thing that you want to remove it right away. Mahirap talaga, mahirap magmahal. Ika nga ni Bob Ong este ni Villa, "kung minsa'y nagmahal at nabigo ka, wag mawalan ng pag-asa. maaring magmamahal at mabibigo ka uli. panapanahon lang yan. malas mo lang minsan." - villa aranas. Ganun talaga. hehe 

Ang sabi ko nga, kung siguro maghahanap ako ng iba, siyempre yun kilala ko or yun close ko na. Mahirap pa kasi yun kilalanin pa or what, like what I said before. Pero, of course, I can meet somebody new, and be patient how that will go far. hehe Marami naman diyan, no one can tell how love really moves in mysterious ways. hehe You can find love or love finds you as other people say. 

Siguro with Lynn, I can say, not only perfect, but the perfect fit. Kapal ng mukha mo Alfred. hehe Pero yeah, that's what I can view. Sayang pero ano ba magagawa ko, love should work both ways, both parties di ba. 

Patay ako kay Rheg na naman, wasak, at aasarin na naman ako. hehe Pero di naman nagbabasa ng blog ko yun, or kahit sa mga close kong barkada. But that's fine. I do love the person. 

How about my ex? hehe Well, kung inaasar ako ni Rheg na kung siya eh madaling tanggapin ang kanyang ex, oo inaamin ko na sa kin din, tatanggapin ko din siya yun ex ko. hehe Pero siyempre, back to zero ulit, paghihirapan namin ibuild the relationship we have before. Maybe that's the reason why I am getting the images of her at my lonely moments in my room. hehe Pero naka move on naman ako na di ko naman siya iniisip masyado, ako na nga nangangamusta sa kanya but ayun walang reply. hehe I am going out naman with somebody and trying to at least meet somebody without thinking ano sasabihin niya or whatever since wala naman siya communication to me. Magaling magaling magaling. I will post my feelings about pudit later. hahaha

Happy birthday again to Lynn. 

aysus! aysus!!

Ayun sa tingin ko, eto na ang blog ko for Monday. At wala naman ako ilalagay pa masyado. Except, nung nakagising ako ng maaga today, wala na ko maisip gawin. Pero actually, nahirapan ako makatulog kasi sa kakaisip kagabi, marami pumapasok sa utak na talagang pili ko inaalis. Malalim na tagalog yun ha. hehe Pero seriously yeah, I had a hard time sleeping last night due to some thoughts. Past thoughts that keeps bothering me. 

Dapat nga last night, kinausap ko a few friends but oh well, they're not available. I was alone all night, but those thoughts bothering so much, bigla ako nagigising tapos tulog ulit. Letche. hehe Pero buti naman, after long hours of sleeping and wandering, I was able to sleep na agad. Of course, I can't discuss those things. But when I woke up, I am fine now, dapat nga di na ko magcocomputer pero hehe sometimes, rules are made to be broken. 3 people will be celebrating their birthdays this week. One, tapos na kahapon, si Lauren, ang cum laude. hehe Tomorrow, yes. hehe Rheg knows her, and lastly this coming Thursday, the varsi editor in chief wayback in college days. Puro college friends. College days are seem to be memorable, I like those days than my HS days, I always say this even in my previous posts. 

Oh well. Sana matapos na tong week, get my pay, visit loyola on November 1 and get a long rest again. Na realize ko, kung matutulog or magpahinga ako ng at least one day sa day off (that doesn't include Monday kasi sa gabi may pasok), di ako mastress masyado. Sabi nga ni Topel labas labas daw ako, sabi ko mas gusto ko ng pahinga lang saka gastos lang yan. (ang totoo, tinatamad ako) hehe Pero yeah, kung pang umaga lang work ko, no problem, araw araw may ginagawa. hehe 

When will that day come? Aysus. 

slacker uprising

Di naman ako slacker. hehe Anyway, after posting my blog last Saturday, eh nakakuha ako ng mcafee extension for free, thanks to mininova.org. hehe So wala na ko problema sa virus scan or whatever. Medyo mabagal pa rin computer ko kasi sa sobrang dami ng files but that's fine, wala naman weird happening sa computer ko, ok na yun. Matagal yun download, like around 3 hours, so nakapanood naman ako ng TV. From PBA, hanggang Imbestigador, ayun kahit papano updated naman ako sa TV shows. hehe Akalain mo may nahuli pa lang pabrika dito malapit sa min, gawaan ng pekeng Guess shirts. hehe 

Nothing unusual happen, until Sunday came. I woke up early and proceed to church right away. Mga 7am tapos na ko then kumain sa Pares, pero siyempre iba naman inorder ko, different from the usual Pares, beef wanton mami naman ang inorder ko. hehe I realized, masarap din pala sila mag mami, at a lower cost unlike sa Jonas. At last, may chili sauce naman ako naabutan nung kumain ako ng mami. hehe Ang panget lang, walang siopao after ko kumain ng mami kasi naubos at kakalagay lang nila ng bagong salang. So, ganun talaga, sa 24 hour resto of Pares. Some orders run out. 

After that, dumaan ako sa Suki, buy some stuff, and do some errands. At paguwi, linis agad ng kuwarto, linis ng electric fan at ayun, napagod, pero nagcomputer naman agad ako. hehe Dapat kahapon pa ko nagpost but I don't have anything to write until I watched the free Michael Moore's film slacker uprising. First I went to their website, watched the trailer and sign up to watch the movie since it's free. I opened my emai and there is a link for the film, but alas, there is a warning that the viewer should be residing in the US or Canada. It means, they can detect the subscriber. hehe The reason they prohibit viewers outside the US or Canada due to some warning from their lawyers. hehe Pero I did not give up, I went straight to youtube, and there it is. I watched the film for free. hehe 

Well, it's about Moore's campaign in 2004 to encourage non voters or slackers who doesn't care the election day, especially the youth to come out and vote. It's a really interesting documentary, not as shocking in Fahrenheit 9/11 or Sicko, but an opening realization that US really needs a change of perception of voting the right people. Remember, they tested Bush and see what happen to them now, very tragic. Of course, the film includes the usual Moore antics and involvement of people, not only the normal people, but also hollywood stars from REM, Roseanne up to Tom of RATM. hehe It's a good one, and I enjoyed it. They should do the right thing this time of the year, because if not, they will just crumble into bits. hehe I am talking about the voters in the coming US election, they should go for Obama. At least for a change. But one personality that caught my attention after watching that film and the presidential debates, it is Ron Paul. He is against all the policies that Bush pushed, even the Democrats proposition as well, he is against it. Parang gusto niya is to have a normal US system that doesn't meddle other countries problems. I mean, normal US system na kaya supportahan sarili nila without borrowing money from others, unlike they are doing today. Kaya kahit wala na siya sa race, maraming kano ang gusto siya maging president. I watched some of his clips and it does make sense. Pwede naman siya tumakbo as independent or gawa siya ng sarili niyang party, pero di ata pwede yun sa US. 

Hay, sana tumino ang mga kano this coming November 4. The world will be watching next week. Are we going to witness the first black US president next week? Or the continuation of a regime who wants to dominate the world? Parang kano ako noh. hehe Pero wala lang, naaawa lang ako sa US, they have everything but due to mismanagement, they are falling into a bad shape.  

After that, nakatulog na ko at balak ko sana magpost kagabi, kaso ayun tinulugan ko na lang. hehe Nanalo ang Coke under coach Duremdes? hehe Buti naman ang Purefoods nanalo kagabi kasi kung hindi, kakahiya sila. hehe 

Lucky for me, I am not a slacker anymore, I don't want to be jobless for more than 3 months you see. hehe

Leave Me Alone

On a thousand islands in the sea
I see a thousand people just like me
A hundred unions in the snow
I watch them walking, falling in a row
We live always underground
It's going to be so quiet in here tonight
A thousand islands in the sea
It's a shame

And a hundred years ago
A sailor trod this ground I stood upon
Take me away everyon when it looks down

From my head to my toes
From the words in the book
I see a vision that would bring me luck
From my head to my toes
Through my teeth, through my nose
You get these words wrong
You get these words wrong
Every time
You get these words wrong
I just smile

But from my head to my toes
From my knees to my eyes
Every time I watch the sky
For these last few days leave me alone
But for these last few days leave me alone
Leave me alone
Leave me alone

That's all I can say today. I got my sleep, nothing to do, just leave me alone, just for this night. 

Very dramatic isn't it? hehe Don't worry, nothing new to me. No drastic changes, no miracles happened, I just slept so long. I slept alone.

Oh, this is the best New Order song. From the intro up to the end of the song, simply the best. 

Age Of Consent

Hay naku, the extension of my agony starts today. hehe After my shift yesterday, I went home, do the usual stuff and watched Conan. Anak ng tokwa, tapos na pala yun Conan, yun here lang sa GMA, sa Japan, di pa tapos. hehe Papalitan na ng Street Fighter V. So no reason to turn on my TV at weekday mornings. hehe After that, I went down and do some stuff for my computer. Expired na yun mcafee ko, I need to search for a new virus scan. This weekend naman, wala akong masyado gagawin, pero sa computer ko, marami. hehe Number one, virus scan, number two, yun mga utang kong pinadodownload sa kin. hehe At huli, other stuff. Oh, ayun di nga ako nakapunta sa Bipolar album launch tonight, ok kaya yun album nila? Sabi ko nga kay Raims, bibili na lang ako sa Music One. hehe 

What else? Napagana ko na sa wakas yun mic ng headset ko sa bahay, the solution? Yun input sa likod ng computer pala ang way to use the mic of my headset. hehe Ang unang nakagamit ay si Mommy to call Tita Nonette from States. Hmmm, come to think of it, overseas call made it easy pala talaga ang YM. hehe Magamit nga din yun, pero kanino kaya? hahaha

At eto pa, may nahanap na naman akong ibang trailer for the Watchmen, acutally nasa profile ko na siya. Anak ng tokwa, lalo ako nasabik, that movie may live up the hype. Un ibang screenshots pinakita na dun, lalo na yun superpowers ni Dr. Manhattan, saka paano pinatay si Comedian. hehe Siyempre, nagresearch ako sa net of the story, I can say the movie might be fantastic, but it depends how the die hard fans will appreciate it. This graphic novel separates from the comics or novels in terms of substance. hehe The bottom line, I can't wait for 03/06/09. Come to think of it, Alan Moore is a great writer, graphic novelist. Very imaginative yet morally sound writer. Fantastic lad. Of course, don't count out Frank Miller and Neil Gaiman. Speaking of Neil Gaiman, when he will release a movie adaption of the Sandman? Yun lang naman kasi ang kilala kong novel niya. haha The question remains, is really Watchmen filmable? Let's see on 03/06/09.

So yun lang masasabi ko. By the way, The Village song yesterday came from New Order's album, Power, Corruption and Lies. That is my favorite album from New Order. And this song today, my fourth fave song, Age Of Consent. Of course, in a New Order song, you can't remove a great intro, an excellent bass, god like drum rhythms and good lyrics. The lyrics itself says a lot about breakup. Nagtataka nga ko everytime I hear New Order songs, they have upbeat sounds yet it has dark lyrics. hehe Weird but that made them great since Joy Division days. Ang kinaibahan lang naman is more light mood ang New Order than Joy Division. 

Won't you please let me go?

These words lie inside they hurt me so

And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you

Just what I want to do

I'm not the kind that needs to tell you

Just what you want me to

I saw you this morning

I thought that you might like to know

I received your message in full a few days ago

I understood every word that it said

And now that I've actually heard it

You're going to regret

And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you

Just what you want me to

You're not the kind that needs to tell me

About the birds and the bees

Do you find this happens all the time?

Crucial point one day becomes a crime

And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you

Just what I want to do

And I'm not the kind that needs to tell you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

end

"Won't you please let me go?

These words lie inside they hurt me so" - parang ganun feeling ko today.  hehehe Well, I just a hope there will be a good week ahead after this very gloomy week.  

"God help us all" - The Comedian, from Watchmen trailer. 

 

I've lost you, long time ago. 

The Village

Of course, this is not about the film from M. Night Shyamalan, I never watched that movie. hehe I only wish that I can switch the dreams I am getting into reality and the reality I am into can be switch into a nightmare. How pathetic I am now. Well, that's life, very ironic. Very stressed bad week I have been. I wish that today is Friday shift, the end of the week. Work week. Hay, mukhang magtatagal pa ko sa plan na to. Kakabagot, but this time, I should be more careful. Or else, I should be looking for a new job. hehe That's fine, it's my fault. Kakaasar lang na masyado na ko matagal na ganito at walang silang patawad. Grabe. hehe But to think of it, maybe tama rin na ganito, kaso ayoko ko lang ng sobrang tagal sa namomonitor ang galaw ko. I feel constricted I guess. Anyway, this time, it will test my patience I guess. I hope this will end and move on in my career. Whatever will happen, there is plan B and C. 

Bad trip kahapon kasi sa gitna ng masarap kong tulog eh pinapawisan ako, yun pala, nagbrownout. Nasira yun rhythm ko sa tulog. Bad trip talaga tong linggo to. Malas ata talaga ako. hehe So medyo matagal yun brownout, pero naramdaman ko na lang na umandar na yun electric fan, nakatulog na ko ng mahimbing. hehe After that hot afternoon, I woke up around 9pm, rode a jeep coming to work, unfortunately again, the jeep that I rode had a flat tire. Kailangan ko maglakad from Cubao to Mercury drug at Yale so natagalan pa ko. Parang napakamalas ko naman. Peste. hehe So ayun, nakarating naman ako on time. Hay, sobrang bad trip, I want to finish this week. Desperately. Move on to a new week. 

So, the 3rd song I like from New Order, The Village. Why that song? Hmmm intro is good, the lyrics? Fantastic and the ending words well not good. hehe But everything is good with that song. Failed love was the topic of it. If you check the first stanzas, the love is so great until it died or it was died since then. hehe Oh well, life and love are really like the same. Both ironic. Both have extreme happiness and sadness. Actually, nadiscover ko lang tong song na to this year lang, while browsing some Kuya Dong files. Eh ayun narinig ko at nahook na ko sa kanta. hehe I am so nostalgic in old songs, anak nga ko ng 80's. hehe I like some new songs today but not that addicted. The reason? Most of them are crap. 

When a new life turns towards you

And the night becomes a bay

We shall remain forever

Everyone who meets his way

Oh, our love is like the flowers

The rain and the sea and the hours

Oh, our love is like the flowers

The rain and the sea and the hours

When the rain falls to the sea

They'll be waiting for you and for me

And the sky reflects our image

Trying to sleep right through our lives

Oh, our love is like the earth

The sun and the trees and the birth

Oh, our love is like the earth

The sun and the trees and the birth

I am still here two days later

Same place, same time

And I'm stuck here two years too long

Same place, the wrong time

Oh, our love is like the flowers

The rain and the sea and the hours

Oh, our love is like the flowers

The sun and the sea and the hours

Their love died three years ago

I hope that if there will be a time I found a new love, it won't die this time. Forever is the word and nothing else. hehe I am thinking every moment, what will happen to me with all these events happening in my dear life. I do not know even if I will make it, or if will end or this will continue or I don't know if I am doing right in the first place. 

I just pray, Lord, if you can lift these burdens from me. Sana lang, dumating ang araw na dapat wala na ko aalalahanin masyado at magkaroon ng normal na buhay. Baka magtaka ka, baka tanungin mo ko di ka ba normal? hehe 

Well, after I faced the real life, graduating from college. I realized, that a normal life that I am looking is not the one that used to be for. We have different perceptions what a normal life should be, but for me, I don't think I have a privilege to know that before. I have a weird life,  and a weird family which changed my view, of a normal life. I can still keep my weird lifestyle or goals, but a normal family, I have a chance to get that, in the future of course. hehe 

Right now, I just want a normal sleep. hehe 

Ceremony

"I must say, happiness is overrated" good article from Queen. Well, for me, not good yesterday. Happiness did not come yet. I've never been so stressed out from work until yesterday. Oh well, this plan of theirs really getting in my nerves. But I've no choice but to follow it. Besides, I still be working here, and that's part of my plan. hehe I know at first, it irritates me but oh well I will just go with the flow. After a very stressed shift yesterday, I just went home, do the usual stuff, slack and staring at myself, I'm down and kinda stressed out. It's a borderline between stressed out and depressed, but after coming in to my senses, I ended up watching TV. hahaha

Oh well, after that, I took a very very cold bath. I am so slow yesterday, but good thing I was able to eat lunch and sleep right away. Then, a dream came, a very good dream. I will just keep the details to me. hehe But the dream is about a woman which has the face similar to some of my crushes before. hehe I just realized that when I woke up, so I thought that was true and now and behold, I am back to my real world. Kala ko pa naman makakajackpot ako, panaginip lang pala. hehe It's so true that the events there parang future time eh, not distant future, parang this same week. Pero tapos na yun, panaginip lang naman yun. Sana magkatotoo. hehehe

After that sleep, I woke up, watched some PBA action, ayun kawawang Ginebra, pinainom ng beer ng San Miguel. hehe Nanalo ang Sta. Lucia ko!! haha Kaso, magaling yun coke, nasulot lang, parang mas effective sila kung is Duremdes ang coach nila. hehehe Our CE is good, for 3 straight weeks which we haven't done before, so good luck to our team!! 

Mistakes sometimes, whether it's small or big, minor or major, is still a mistake. That what made me stressed out. Damn.. I wish this will end. I wish I can make up for it. Give me a chance. 

Now, let's focus to the second song I like from New Order. But before that, since nangyari na ang bad trip, malamang di na ko pupunta sa Bipolar launch. Si Raims mukhang pupunta, pero di bibili ng CD. hehe Bad tripan na to!!! So, the second song is Ceremony, since the lyrics itself is like a cycle of love and hate and well, I like the whole song because of the intro, then the beats of the drums and lyrics as well. Nagulat nga ko nung nirevive ng Radiohead ito, parang original din eh ang dating. hehe Sana magkaayos na sila ni Hooky to have the full New Order back and play this song all over again. 

This is why events unnerve me,

They find it all, a different story,

Notice whom for wheels are turning,

Turn again and turn towards this time,

All she ask's the strength to hold me,

Then again the same old story,

World will travel, oh so quickly,

Travel first and lean towards this time.

Oh, I'll break them down, no mercy shown,

Heaven knows, it's got to be this time,

Watching her, these things she said,

The times she cried,

Too frail to wake this time.

Oh I'll break them down, no mercy shown

Heaven knows, it's got to be this time,

Avenues all lined with trees,

Picture me and then you start watching,

Watching forever, forever,

Watching love grow, forever,

Letting me know, forever.

Thanks for lyricwiki.org. hehe I always thought that one day, if I am able to finish one task or got successful, this is my background music. I look forward for better things ahead whether it's for good or worse. Suprise me, O Lord. 

bizarre love triangle

Well, after posting my blog in a hot afternoon, I slept right away and went to work around 10pm. Actually, pag pasok ko eh nagloloko na ang system ko. Yun Outlook ko di mabukas tapos yun bar sa baba, di nagrespond. Grabe talaga ang Vista, you don't know when it will go haywire. hehe Hay naku, tapos nun, of course I had to struggle to work with it for the whole shift but good thing is, it got fixed before lunch. Wala naman bago until now. I just so focused of listing my future decks type 2, hehe which I ended up listing one, just now, yun isa, I give up kasi mahirap gumawa. Number one, mahal yun naiisip ko at di ko pa sure kung gagana, and number two, since mahal, san naman ako kukuha ng funds? hehe So ibig sabihin, magtitiyaga muna ako sa isang deck. hehe After the Monday shift, I went home already, fixed some things, clean my room and my bed and watched some shows while doing these things. 

I took a cold bath and then I've done some leg and foot massage. Medyo na stress na ata ang mga binti ko. hehe Then, nakakain ako ng lunch with Kuya and suprisingly, si Ate Aila and kids ay nasa bahay. Malamang kasi sembreak na kasi ng mga bata, or yun mga pumapasok sa school. Sandali ko lang sila nakita kasi natulog na agad ako. Oo nga pala, si Kuya Dong nasa China pala for a trip, so sana ingat siya at pasalubong sana. hehe Hmmm, what else. I don't know what else to say, oo nga pala hmmm next week na pala birthday niya. I don't know what to give. Let's see. hahaha

Kala ko marami ako malalagay but well, mukhang maiksi lang to. Anyway, what else, eto mukhang back to the drawing board for the second type 2 deck. hehe Ang kulit ko talaga, pero after this day, tapos na tong listahan na to. But anyway, for this week. Of course, after a gloomy and dark songs from Joy Division, let's go to a down yet upbeat sounds of New Order (Post Joy Division band). 

New Order, no need for a long intro, to make it short, the remaining band members from Joy Division, Barney, Hooky, Stephen formed a band. That Band is New Order, and they included Gillian Gilbert which became Mrs. Morris today. The band became iconic, especially in the dance music genre where at that time they released songs with synthesizers, they were ahead of all the artists in the 80's, except from some UK bands and artist. Siyempre, may ganun na din na artist in the 80's and 90's. New Order influenced so many bands, some of them, Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead, hmmm Nine Inch nails? hehe you can check it out at neworderonline.com. Until now, of course, buo pa rin sila except that Hooky got tired of breaking up and make up so mukhang di na siya babalik. Sorry news for Kuya Dong. Actually ang number one fan ay di ako, kundi si Kuya Dong na kahit plaka ng power, corruption and lies album eh mayroon siya. Wow. Vinyl days. hehe What has New Order done in my life? Hmmm, marami, but if I am down at morning, I listen to them. hehe After listening some songs, I am ok, tuloy ang buhay. I don't know how they songs affects me, it just gives me a different light feeling. Yun lang, at siyempre magaling sila, maririnig mo naman from the drums, bass, beats and sometime lead guitar. Parang nasa music list ko na ata yun song but I will check that again later. Here is the lyrics;

Every time I think of you

I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue

It's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find

Living a life that I can't leave behind

There's no sense in telling me

The wisdom of a fool won't set you free

But that's the way that it goes

And it's what nobody knows

While every day my confusion grows

Chorus:

Every time I see you falling

I get down on my knees and pray

I'm waiting for that final moment

You'll say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good

I feeling like I never should

Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say

Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday?

I'm not sure what this could mean

I don't think you're what you seem

I do admit to myself

That if I had someone else

Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be

Every time I see you falling

I get down on my knees and pray

I'm waiting for that final moment

You'll say the words that I can't say

Hmmm, lyrics is good, that's why it was revived so many times. hehe The song as whole is good, rhythm, bass, synthesizers except for the lead guitar which is always the problem with Barney (Bernard Sumners). I think, these are the best words to describe when you really fall in love. It is ironic from me because I did say what I want to say but the problem is we can't be ourselves like yesterday. hehe

That's it for today, well I was able to finish the second deck list but I will leave it until I get the funds. That can be changed of course, basta metagame ang theme, medyo sawa na ko sa weenie. hehe Di ko muna iisipin yung deck. 

Love is really bizarre, bizarre that it has always 3 sides of it. She, me and other things. 

simula ng bagong linggo

Oo nga, pagkatapos ng mahabang araw nung Sabado, ayun nagising ako ng Linggo ng maaga. I went to church and ayun nagpost ako sa account ko. Mukhang I am hooked posting here. hehe Until now, di ko pa naayos yun kay Igz na mga pinadodownload niya. Sorry bro. hehe Until now, I haven't fixed my facebook account. Sorry dude. hehe My bros texted me, I did not answer. hehehe Sorry ulit. After doing some stuff and yun posts ko, well I went right away sa Fairview and to Dad and Algerro. 

Ayun, kaunti kwento lang ni Gerro at masarap na unan, nakatulog na ko. Nagising na ko ng around 11pm, at tinamad na ko magonline, tinuluyan ko na ang tulog. hehe Kala ko nga makakapanood pa ko ng PBA, pero di na rin. Bakit ganun, lagi akong nakakatulog dun ng deretcho eh magulo naman ang kwarto ni Gerro. hehe After that, I woke up and ate some bread. Breakfast at ayun hilata na naman, nagisip kung ano ano. hehe Di naman natuloy ang lunch with Joanne sa national bookstore so I went home na agad, at eto ngayon nanonood ng Eat Bulaga! The only show I cherish in my life. hehe 

Oh well, the problems are still the same, haunting me. But what else can I do? 

Do what I need to do, move on. By the way, her new pic, kinda bubbly. hehe 

Congrats pala kay Jack, nanganak na!! The baby girl's name is Chloe Elise. Congrats Walter! Ang rich naman ng name of your unica hija. hehe The bad news is lalabas na daw si Jack today, so di man lang ako nakadalaw. Ok lang, sa susunod na lang. hehe 

"I don't believe in heaven.."

Those were the first words spoken at the movie named Max Payne. hehe Let's go back why I really watched Max Payne. Way back in college, around 1st or 2nd year college, the time of counterstrike days and battle realms games, I heard one game which everybody playing into, that was Max Payne. So I checked that by playing in a computer shop in UST, until now, the shop is still there. hehe Siyempre, na curious ako sa laro at ayun nakita ko agad. Actually, isang beses ko siya nilaro at dinaya ko pa kasi ang hirap pala. hehe Pero overall ok siya lalo na yung bullet time and movements niya, yun plot din ok. Kala ko malalaro ko ulit ang Max Payne, pero naaddict ako sa counterstrike and battle realms. hehe 

Oh those pre-com days. hehe Now, after the 3rd team building, I went right away to Greenbelt 3 to check the sked for Max Payne. Nakita ko may 3pm pala, so like 3 mins na lang at showing na that time, bumili na ko ng ticket. hehe Dapat nga Pineapple Express, pero naisip ko yun na lang, Max Payne na lang. Baka sa DVD na lang ko mapanood yun express. hehe Now, nakapasok na ko sa sinehan at katabi ko foreigner, well I did not mind him. hehe Nagulat ako na kaunti lang ang trailers at no painstaking commercials from Ayala, so it went away showing Max Payne. Sa una talaga, mabagal yun story at siyempre pinapakita pa kawawa siya. Until the next half comes, mabilis na agad yun plot at ok naman yun ending. Mark Wahlberg is fit in to the role, so I won't be surprised kung ibabalik siya sa part 2. Magaling din yun assassin na kasama niya, Mila Kunis and si Ludacris, pwede pala siya sa serious role na pulis. hehe Let downs, of course, there are let downs. Number one, me as a fan of the "bullet time", actually one scene lang mayrun nun. Number two, I researched ang plot niya sa wiki and mukhang, well not surprising, iniba ang plot niya. So sa part 2 as you saw the ending, magfofocus sila sa pharma company na gumagawa ng drugs. Last one, yun kalbo na assassin, naalala ko na siya sa Prison Break, si Sucre, madali lang siya napatay? Sayang naman yun papel niya. hehe 

Of course, may maganda naman part like Mark Wahlberg's role, hmmm the setting itself, dark and yun gun fights ha, ok yun tunog ng baril saka medyo buenas ata si Max Payne. hehe Saka yun part na ininom niya yun drug, ok yun dating at naging hyper na siya. So after a fast paced movie, I went home na agad kasi naempatcho ako sa team building namin. I thought pano ako uuwi, so I checked kung totoong lumipat na yun FX straight to home. Ang layo na talaga, sa may parking near MRT pa ang terminal ng FX going to Mayon. At wait, it's now 45 bucks! 10 pesos higher. Tsk tsk, iba talaga nagagawa ng high gas prices. hehe Now, wala akong choice, yun na sinakyan ko pauwi para di na ko lalakad pa at wait for MRT. I arrived at home round 6pm, nakapanood pa ko ng Sta. Lucia versus Purefoods. Kala ko makakapanalo pa yun Purefoods, kaso ayun nalason sa huli. Malakas pa rin ang Sta. Lucia kasi grabe naman ang line up nila, at lalo na nung nalaman ko na halos kalahati ng team nila, nilalagnat. hehe Partida pa pala, pero alam ko na sila panalo kasi ang score, 60's lang ang range, so pabor sa kanila yun laro. After that, I was able to check some updates sa NFL, pero ayun, nakatulog na ko after 22 hours of being awake.

Good thing, Max Payne now believes in heaven and angels. I see myself to him I guess. hehe 

I always believe in heaven. 

the 3rd team building

Of course, after a fast shift, Friday shift, we went right away to Greenbelt 3 by riding, well, 4 cabs. Kasi marami kami. hehe 4 separate cabs brought us to Greenbelt 3. Nung nakarating kami sa Greenbelt 3, we went straight sa Seatle's Best as Fanty suggested. So nasa labas kami kasi para sa mga nagyoyosi, pero may parang sala setting na din na pwede pumewesto para matulog. So we talked a lot while waiting for our food which I don't have any idea what TM and Fanty ordered for the whole team. hehe After like 20 mins of waiting, the drinks were served first. Well, it's like Mango or Strawberry blended drink. 8 Mango drinks and like 7 Strawberry drinks. I choose Mango of course, because I have no trust with the Strawberry blended drink. hehe It's not I hate Strawberry, but by the looks of the drink, it's a strong ice blended drink for a Strawberry. 

Tama nga hula ko, anak ng tokwa, matapang yun Mango. So pano pa kaya yun Strawberry di ba? hehe So after drinking while chatting with my team mates for another 20 minutes, there is a meal coming up, french toast with ham and egg omelet and jam plate, for each one of us. Yun iba nga, di naubos tapos yun iba ako pa kumain. Parang sobrang busog na ko at parang after 1 hour, may dumating pang dalawang meal, di naubos. Kailangan kasi maliquidate ang funds, so go lang sa paggasta for each one of us. hahaha

Around 10 am na kami natapos sa breakfast and we were advised by our beloved TM na babalikan kami ng 11am for the Redbox event. hehe Ayun, nakahilata lahat sa sobrang kabusugan, tapos eto pa, nakahiram pa ko ng PSP sa team mate ko. Nakalaro ako ng Tekken. I believe, I need to get one as well, nakakaaddict ang PSP. Lalo na may metal gear pa naman dun. hehe So after maaddict sa Tekken at PSP and waiting for TM to come back, it's already 11am. 

We went right away sa Redbox, and this time, di na kami sa maliit na room, kundi sa malaking room kami nakapagkanta and chow. Sobrang laki nung room, and the seats, muntikan na ko makatulog. hehe Ang bad part lang eh laging sira yun mic, laging nga kaming trouble ticket kay manong na ayusin yun Mic. Kahit yun wireless nila, sira. Bwisit. hehe So 12 am came and eat all you can with no leftovers portion. Siyempre ako naman, kumuha ako agad kasi mahaba pila kung later ka pa darating sa buffet. 

Kaunti lang menu sa main course, parang mas marami pa sa desserts eh. hehe I got what I want without the rice. hehe Well, habang kumkain ako, yun ibang team mate, naparami ng kuha, mukhang may leftovers ata. hehe Naku naman, kalahati pa lang nung kinakain ko, sobrang busog na ko. I feel that the breakfast meal we ate, is not yet digested. hehe So I went one eating, singing and playing PSP na naman. Napagalitan pa nga kami ni Mamu sa kakalaro ng fight night. hehe Nasimulate kasi namin yun laban ni Pacman at Dela Hoya sa PSP. Mukhang alam namin kung sino kakain ng pasa sa December 6. hehe Well, it will all change at the real fight. So after 4 hours of eating and singing our hearts out, lalo na yun performance ni Fanty sa 3 Aegis songs na nakakagulat! We ended at 3pm and me, I said goodbye to my team and see them on Monday. 

Now, let's see the pain... 

coming at the 3rd team building.

Yes, after today's shift which is the last day of the workweek, we will be having our 3rd team building. For free. hehe Hay, wala pa ko isang taon dito ay may team building lagi na libre. Sarap naman. hehe Well, di lang naman yun ang nagustuhan ko dito, but of course, other benefits and org structure here at Dell. It's just simply great. That's all I can say. hehe Except siyempre, di maiiwasan kung ang TM eh pasaway or ang queue/account eh sobrang toxic, iba na usapan yun. Pero overall, ok pa rin dito. Si Nick mukhang may work na ha, kaso November pa daw siya magstart, ano kaya work niya. So kahit may technical recession sa Singapore, eh tuloy pa rin sila ng hiring. When kaya ako makakapunta dun? hehe Pero pag may pera ako, Japan. haha

Anyway, yesterday was a simple one. Payday, literally, paying all the bills. hehe After that, I went to Mang Ed to check some Magic Stuff. Malapit na matapos ang deck ko, feeling ko kaya na makipagsabayan sa iba. Ok lang na matalo, important, may laban to and may chance manalo. What else, nagpagupit na ko, kalbo ulit. hehe Naisip ko na din magpahaba ng buhok, but I will think about that. Pero now, I am enjoying this kind of hairstyle. hehe Di ko na napanood yun part 2 nun Conan, mga 12pm na ko nakauwi. Well, that's fine, di naman siya kawalan. There's a new week ahead and besides, Conan is not done yet until now in Japan. Dad is clueless whether he and Algerro will go to URCI tomorrow. I am clueless too if I am going to visit him. hehe 

As for the new OS Vista program, well, it gave me some hard time using it. However, I discovered that the Google Chrome looks great in Vista. hehehe So I need to have Vista to get the great Chrome look? No way!!! What else, hmmmm wala na siguro. Mamaya pa naman kasi ang team building sa Red Box at eat all you can pa!! bwahahaha. Naisip ko na rin kung sa greenbelt na din kaya ako manood ng Max Payne. 

I think, I need to change my white shoes, well the striped shoes, from K-Swiss. Medyo mag 2 years na kasi at may mga bitak na, sana by xmas, makabili ako ng bago. Gift for myself. I already know what will I buy!! hehe I don't know why I am choosy in shoes, maybe I was carried away in the saying "Good shoes brings you to good places", a quote from Hana Yuri Dango Anime version. So, hmmmmm I don't know what else to say, by the way, I got an weird job offer, which is a word editor/writer in Ortigas for a financial research company. At first, very interesting, but when I checked the address, it is situated in Ortigas. I said to myself, no way!! That's the place I hate to work with. That place gives me always a hard time travelling into from home. Mas madali nga pumunta ng Makati kaysa sa Ortigas, weird comparison no? hehehe Pero kasi un accessibility ng transporation, mas madali sa Makati kahit traffic, at least nakaupo ka na sa sasakyan. Unlike pag Ortigas, grabe ang layo, lagi ka naglalakad na talagang nakakapagod. Talagang Edsa lang ang papunta pauwi. hehe Pwedeng San Juan, kaso delikado pag gabi from there. Well, di naman ako nanghihinayang, natuwa lang ako na ang offer is besides my usual job. Let's see, baka maiba ang decision. hehe Pero 90% chance, di ako sisipot sa invitation. hehe Sayang ang bonus saka masaya naman ako dito for now. Why leave all of the sudden? Besides, yun mga gusto kong work, wala na paramdam, so I will stick around here for quite sometime. 

Put all those worries away, I am going to move forward. 

Let's see what's in store for me this coming weekend. 

By the way, pag ako nakapunta ng Davao, di ako magtatagal dun, iba ang pupuntahan ko. hahahahahaha Wasak na naman ako kay Rheg. 

263rd

Post. hehe Anyway, nothing new yesterday, except I paid my bills naman for the net and some things as well. According to my blog settings or counter, this is the 263rd post, including the book 1. hehe So that's 132 for the first book and 131 for the book 2. I never expected to have this number of posts. Ewan ko nga kung may nagbabasa. hehe Well, the team building is all set on Saturday. I am not sure when I can visit Dad, I should know that by Friday. Mahirap naman kung wala naman si Dad sa bahay, nasa URCI pala. I am not sure as well, if I can watch Max Payne this weekend. So many choices, so many things to do, I don't know what to do. hehe Confused ata ako. Pero parang mali yun counter kasi yun iba baka nadoble lang. Naalala ko, nahirapan ako magset up ng blog sa multiply so I think mali yun count ko. Parang kung 263, edi dalawang buwan na lang, isang taon na ko sa kakablog, eh nagstart naman ako March lang. So weird, but that's fine. hehe

Oh well, this week was a simple one, I hope next week, the action plan will end, and if there is a chance, I can go to the bipolar launch. Conan is indeed addictive, like yesterday, I watched the part 1 of his case, so I need to watch again later. I am puzzled how the killer was able to execute the plan. hehe Well, anyway, I hope I could catch it later. 

Hay, ang bilis ng panahon, sana may himala man lang. hehe Well, all the problems are still the same. Whether it's home, national, wherever, there are no solutions of these problems. Holy crap. hehe 

Sabi ko na nga ba, ang San Beda and ADMU may exhibition game kasi nagchampion sila sa UAAP and NCAA respectively. Siyempre, sponsored ni MVP ang event, for a good cause naman. Pero bakit this year, walang all star game between NCAA and UAAP? Siguro, wala na yun bantay bata na laging sponsor nila. hehe 

What else? Mukhang seryoso na talaga si Pacman to win on Dec. 6 ha, I believe in him but of course, kung lumabas talaga yun laro ni Dela Hoya, wala na siya magagawa, he will be sent in early retirement. hehe 

Anyway, payday today so this will be at least, fun one. I don't know what else to say. Let's say, I'll rest today and look forward tomorrow.  

in a lonely place

Here at work, there is a lonely place. Not in pantry or here in my station. It's in the breakroom where sleeping heads and silence (if there's is any, hehe) prevails. Before I went to do some errands again for this time, for my Dad yesterday, I took chance to lay down in one of the beds at the breakroom. I thought I could sleep, but well I was not able to sleep. hehe Good job! 

I ended up wondering again, thinking, daydreaming, or whatever I am thinking, even it's good or bad. Oh well, I thought some good memories, some bad. Maybe, I am really alone at that time, I am staring nowhere like a dead man. hehe By the way, siyempre, maganda na naman ang CE ng team namin, we hope, we can reach the xcel prize at the end of the quarter!! Galingan niyo team! hehe

After that lonely moment, I went right away to some couple of banks. I almost got irritated with the second one because the bank did not solve the long queue! Peste, dalawang teller lang ang meron? Ano ba naman yan. Damn. So buti na lang natapos agad at went straight to pick up something for dad. I finished around 11am and ate outside na rin kasi alam ko, wala na naman ulam sa bahay. hehe Mom used to cook but she can't be tired due to some health issues. Or some transactions. Or whatever. 

After that, I tried to use the shower upstairs pero mahina eh. Saka ayoko ng malamig na shower, so traditional tabo na lang. hehe Kahit malamig, ok lang, wag lang ang shower. After taking a cold bath, I slept already and may mga nanggugulo, number one si Rheg. Panay kasi ang "booking". hehe Si Ian, nagyaya "gimik" daw, sabi ko saka na lang, at wala akong pera! 

Oh well, I believe I won't make it at the bipolar launch. That's why Raims doesn't want to buy the CD because she already heard some songs of the album! Unfair naman dude. hehe Hmmm, according in some website, 1000 copies lang daw available at the launch. So, aabot kaya ako? Pupunta kaya ako? Tignan na lang natin. hahaha

What else, hmmmm ayun lang. Wala na siguro, kasi wala naman bago. Di ko alam kung makakapunta ako kay Dad this weekend kasi pupunta daw siya with Gerro sa URCI. Naman, kakapunta ko lang dun like 2 weeks ago. hehe Now, I am living with Vista. I am having a hard time using it like the navigation of it, but good thing is the look of the Vista Aero Design, sleek and tight. However, that's only the good thing I can see here. Other than that, nothing else. hehe I can say, if you are going to use this OS, you will need a high end specs of a computer. 

Oh, 12 days later and it's her birthday. You know who it is. hehe Do I have a gift for her? Maybe, this time, it will be a different one. Oh, there is another person that I am thinking all the time, hahaha. She changed her shout out, hmmm "Learn to love yourself before anything else". No comment. hehehe

Oh well, action plan? It will extend. hehe Good job for me di ba. Kailan kaya ako magpapacheck up. Parang daw ako pilay which I don't know why. Pag may time, papacheck up na nga ko, lalo na sa blood because of the health history ng parents ko. hehe Health is wealth as they say. 

That's all for today. Sometime, I hope I will be in a place that I can be lonely or somewhat not crowded... yet I am happy and peaceful.. Not in Loyola, hehe 

martes

Well, eto na ang araw na kailangan makisabay ako sa Microsoft Vista. Yikes, pero mukhang di pa rin maiiba ang peception ko sa Vista. hehe Basta pag ako may bagong build na computer, mag ubuntu pa rin ako and/or xp pro. May bago nga pala version ang ubuntu this coming end of the month. Our team building plans have changed, we will visit again Redbox in Glorietta this coming Saturday, so sing along and eat all you can again! 3rd Team Building na to ha, wala nito sa ePLDT or HSBC, remember, it's free. hehe Ang sarap dito!!!

Hay, wala naman bago except that, ginulo na naman ako ni Jeleane kasi sa assignment niya sa internet. hehe Pero ok lang, ang di ko lang sure kung talagang natapos yun assignment niya or hindi. hehe Bahala siya, malaki na siya. Nothing new yesterday, or any that changes me a lot. However, I am still experiencing some flashbacks of the past. Maybe I miss those events, I miss her. hahaha Sabon ako ni Rheg dito, pero moving forward, what if she is still here? What if we still together? I don't know the answer either if that really happened. Siguro, talagang masarap ulit magkaroon that kind of relationship. But not the forbidden or difficult one, because it has so many many risks. Most of the risks, won't work, especially if your actions are unplanned, take it from me. hehehe I just hope she is ok and fine.

It was a simple day yet a good sleeping day because of the rain. I was able to sleep good and relaxed, I hope it can happen later again. Nakapanood ako ng Recca at mukhang di na ko manonood ulit, pero hay ang Conan, nakapanood ako. hehe Pero buti na lang isang episode lang siya, so natapos yun case niya agad. Simple lang kasi yun case. May ganun kayang tao dito sa mundo? hehe Kung mayroon ganun detective here, malamang, todas na siya. hehe Well, what I can say to Vista now, is yes it's eye catching I like the aero design, yet troublesome in some of navigation aspects of it. The aero design? Ubuntu can do that. Let's see if I can cope up with this change of OS. Damn. hehe

Oh well, I think I will be staying in action plan until I get that final survey. Good job.. waaaaaahhhh.. 

Agony stays longer. hehe

blue monday

Of course, this was one of the best New Order songss but not in my top 5. hehe Anyway, I thought I was going to finish the Air 21 vs. Ginebra game last night, but I feel asleep. I just read that Air 21 still lost even Ginebra has a very depleted line up. hehe What a stupid team. Good thing, my Realtors won big time yesterday. Well I turned off the TV after I fell asleep and slept again. I woke up around 6am and fixing, cleaning some things, read some books and papers, the usual thing. I went out to print some lists and done some errands for Mom. 

Pagkatapos nun, nakapanood pa ko ng pre season game ng NBA, sayang, may panalo yun Sacramento, kaso kinapos. hehe After that, I took a cold bath and woke up at 9pm and I am here. I thought my system will become the dreaded Vista but mukhang I have one day to keep using XP pro. The most stable XP version for me. hehe I believe this coming week will be a boring one, except if my action plan will be over. That will make me happy for a while. And of course, payday and team building this coming weekend. hehe But I still feel bored, I don't know why, maybe of the past events, like last year. Those images coming up out of nowhere. Love, hate, struggle, joy and other feelings, I am kinda stupid I guess. hehe

Well, I guess, it's just a matter of time of moving forward each moment of my life. Looking back to those times won't help me a lot. Oh, this week, I am not sure if Jack will be giving birth, but I know she will be just ok. Hay, ano pa ba. Siguro wala na, simpleng araw lang kasi kahapon, wala naman bago. That's all I can say. I just hope for the very best in this life. Oh, if I have time this week, I will be watching Max Payne, even I really did not play the video game version, but let's see if this adaption is good. 

By the way, try the name blackswordsmann search in google, it will show something duplicate... hehe

simple sunday

Yes, after that wild night. hehe Simple and Fun Saturday night. Now, I woke up at around 7am, then I slept again and woke up around 10:30am. Masarap naman tulog ko, tapos ayun, bukas ng computer. Dapat nga kanina pa ko nagblog pero sorry tinamad at naaddict sa Gaki no Tsukai. hehe After that, pumunta ako Quiapo, wala naman yun nba live 09 sa PC as yun announcement sa internet consistent naman. hehe So malamang hintayin ko na lang for the next months, kasi last year, ganun lagi, sa PS2 una tapos sa PC. Oh well, yun lang, tapos now, nakakapanood ako ng PBA sa Linggo. Masarap naman ang pahinga, at wala naman pressure whatever. I will take this chance to rest and slack. Can I do that everyday? hehe

tropic blunder

After I slept for around 5-6 hours, I am all set to watch Tropic Thunder with my brothers kuno. hehe Pero, nag mass muna ako sa LSQC ng 6pm. Akala ko di nakarating sina Rheg, pero nagpakita sila after the mass. Mga ungas talaga. hehe So, at first parang di alam kung san pupunta but of course, we decided to go at Trinoma. I was surprised that North Ave is not traffic, but the parking at Trinoma was hell. All the slots were taken up to the highest floor. Grabe, kala namin di na kami makakapark. hehe

Pero ang driver naman namin si Iggie, so wala naman problema, nakapark kami sa taas. We went right away sa DQ, tagal na kasi ako di nakakain dun. Ako at si Rheg kumain. Si Igz, bumili ng Mexicali for some nachos and kanyang burito. Siyempre, may kwentuhan at tinuloy un namiss ni Ian last 2 weeks ago. hehe At 8:40pm, pumasok na kami sa Trinoma at cinema 4, guess who I saw? haha Someone who brought a date at that time. Anyway, the film started and I can say the movie was great, one of the best of Ben Stiller. Robert Downey Jr. was really great, actually the whole cast is good, from Jack Black and even the enemies or Nick Nolte and Tom Cruise! hehe It was really cool, one of the good comedy films of the year, or in 3 years. Pero sulit talaga, ok yun Tropic Thunder. Ang gusto ko yun pineapple express kasi Jude Apatow and Seth Rogen na naman yun, kaso wala pa dito. Iba si James Franco dun! hehe 

After that, we went to Pares sa Retiro para maiba from usual Mister Kabab. Letcheng Pares, walang chili sauce!!! Hanggang sa pagbayad sa food, yun pa rin hinahanap namin. hehe At eto, humirit pa si Rheg na mag garahe, the Tapsi version of LSQC. hehe Isang bucket ng light, kahit inaantok na ko, pumayag na rin ako. hehe Wala naman ako magagawa, kasi pumayag na yun dalawa. Ok din pala sa garahe, mura and simple lang, may sala setting pa! hehe Masarap yung inom and kwentuhan, kahit may kanyang kanyang problem, masaya naman ang ending! Well, that's all for Saturday. 

The term of the night, "gummy bear" and we are the gummy bros. bwahahaha!

tosho Daimos

Of course, that's Daimos. hehe Tapos na ang Daimos yesterday. Nung napanood ko yun ending, at naalala ko na yun mga nangyari. hehe Ok na sana, kaso simple lang yung ending. Actually parehas sila ng plot ng Voltes V na magiging kakampi yun kalaban sa huli at magpapakamatay din. hehe Pero siyempre iba ang Daimos. Love story and action robot anime story. Di na ko nanood ng Conan after that and I went to Rheg and ayun manonood kami ng tropic thunder bukas ng gabi. hehe Condolence pala kay Ron kasi namatayan siya, yun tita niya and Lola. God bless them. 

Dapat pupunta ako but since ganun na nga, sa trinoma ang bagsak bukas. hehe Yun lang plano ko for this weekend, pahinga ito! Sa wakas, makakahilata lang ako sa kwarto or magayos ng mga bagay bagay. Nothing new naman yesterday, umuulan lang ng malakas at masarap naman ang tulog kahit 3pm na ko nakatulog. Si Claire kasi nagtext eh, hehe pero ok lang, nangamusta naman. What else? Si Rheg, mukhang may "booking" haha Special counselling sessions! Ungas ka talaga, lagot ka bukas! hehe

What else. Hmmmmm waaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! Sana tapos na tong action plan. hehe Ano pa pala. Gusto ko na ng day off. hehe Pero mabilis lang naman etong araw na to, last day is a fast day. I don't know what to say more. Buti na lang pala umuulan kasi malamig, kaysa naman sa gitna ng hapon eh napakainit. Mahirap makatulog. 

Sunday? A very normal day, I wake up, go to Church, do some stuff and watch PBA later at night. I want that kind of day, everyday. hehe Except going to Church, kasi Sunday lang naman yun. By the way, it is time to check if there is NBA Live 09 in PC format. Kakasawa na yun 08, sana may 09 na para malaro na sa PC ko. Feeling ko din, kailangan ko din in the future ng PS3, kasi mas may addict ako sa console games eh, kaysa sa PC games. hehe Mas gusto ko maglaro sa kwarto ko then the good ol days, play till you die. hahaha

Hay, ano pa ba. Hmmmm Next month na pala yun Quantum of Solace, siyempre, mas trip ko yun bagong James Bond, kaya hinihintay ko yun. Mas maganda kaya siya sa una which is Casino Royale? Sana nga. Ok, economy update, I just read from cnn.com, Euro stock markets, down by 8%, of course, you don't need to tell what just happen to US stocks. That's bad news. Every stock in the world seems to plunge into some deep hole. I don't know what will happen next, I just hope there is still a remedy for this. Why do I care for this? Because it will affect my future, our future. Naks, pero totoo, kaya sana maresolve na to. 

Waaaaaaahhhh!! I am running out of words. Maybe I will just continue this tomorrow. Have a bloody weekend ahead. 

subprime

Mortgages. hehe Anyway, thanks to the Francisco Colayco's blog about that, I understand now how it works. And how it affected the US/Global economy. It has a very detailed and long explanation but to make it short, these are mortgages that offered to some individuals who are not really qualified to get one but offered a higher interest rate. Since big banks are looking for high interest rate or return for investments, to go to these kind of securities, or debts. Then the problem arises when most of these Subprime lending, were not paid off. That's why most financial institutions are breaking down, went on lending from the government, asking for merging to other banks or worse, filing for bankruptcy. High interest/return, yet high risk. Good job to them! hehe It affected the US economy due to that, that's why the $700 bailout plan seems to be huge for an situation which can be regulated if they really been strict with qualification of these loans. I hope they will learn this time.

Buti na lang, kahit mayroon mga bangko na naginvest galing dito, kaunti lang. At di uso yun subprime mortgage dito. hehe Pero somehow, magkakaepekto din in the long run dito pero di gaano, basta di ungas ang gobyerno natin. hehe 

Well, why talk about this? Because I have nothing to talk about me. hehe Yesterday nothing great or new happened. Siyempre, nanood ako ng Daimos at nun part 2 ng Conan. Weird yun case ni Conan, pero ok siya, posible. hehe Nasabi ko posible, kasi yun ibang case niya, masyado naman magaling ang criminal nun. Lahat planado. Pero kahit papano naman, may napupulot na info. Unlike naman sa napanood ko na matalino talaga yun tao, nagkataon lang na mahirap isolve yun case at ang ending, todas ang writer na wish niya talaga. hehe Malapit na matapos ang Daimos, so later na ang ending. Next week naman, Flame of Recca, pero di na, di ko naman trip yun, siguro yun ending pwede. hehe 

Plano ko this week mukhang sa bahay lang ako, kasi si Mang Ed di pa nakukuha yun kailangan ko na cards. Eh kung pupunta ako kay Ron Marc, baka di ko makikita yun effect ng deck ko kasi kulang pa. Baka sa ibang week na lang siguro. Pero baka maiba ang decision ko, hehe Bahala na. What else? Hmmmmm Ang bilis ng panahon, next month is November tapos December na agad. Speed of Dell siguro. hehe Pero yun lang, wala naman ako naiisip. Masarap naman ang tulog ko, di nga nakakain ng lunch and dinner eh. hehe Pero dito na ko sa work kumain. 

It's a simple day isn't it? I read something yesterday. Seek and you shall find.. I hope, I can found that..