Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Agony

Yes, it is very hard to cope with it.. Many times in my life, I don't know, like asking myself, why I'm still here? I tried to really cheer up myself these past days but well.. Nothing happened.

Thinking what will happen to my shop today..

Or how's my survey to help our team at work.. To have high stats and still stay in the company..

My magic decks which are always pending to be built. hehe

The family as well.. My loving family.. I just hope, we're always ok.

My tired body which, well, not yet sick..

My mind.. Yes, I don't know why it's not yet breaking down, but thank God.. It's still here, thinking of ways and plans.. Thinking forward.

My heart.. I guess, it's always been hurt.

My soul? Little fire left..

That's the reason why I look so tired.. With everything I need to think, do and look for, I felt, it's never ending.. An unforseen end of a tunnel.

A bottomless pit.

It's like in the movie inception, Cobbs has multiple aspects in his life, hidden in his dreams.. As the elevator goes lower, more secrets or feelings left hidden. Kept hidden..

Unfortunately, no Adriadne tried to discover those floors. Mal? Hmmmm.. hehe

Add to that.. Her.

What keeps me going despite all of this?

You're looking at it. That's one..

Hope is another one. Never ending burning of hope that one day, at least most of those pains will go away.

Him above, as I pray everyday, I'll do my best to do my part for you and I hope, I do believe, you'll do your part.

Of course, faith.. That I can do this and see that end of the road. Faith to the people around me, family, friends, team and everyone I know. hehe I believe in them. Even her.

Love, yes, there is still love to myself and I just love doing this. Maybe it may go wrong but I just love going over and do the best thing.. That I know, I love for.

I love even agony.. because it improves me and drives me to do better just to have it away. Go away please!

For now.. it runs through me, every single moment.

Silly.

broken lines (collection 11)

Arigato.

Salamat poh kua..

Thank you for calling, have a great day ahead!

tol salamat

Becky, tnx ha, peste ka pa din. hehe

Tsong ok na thanks ha!

Ei, thanks ha, sweldo yun bayad. =)

sige po salamat din.

Hay salamat natapos din.. =(

Thanks tapos na!!!! hehe

Anak salamat ha..

Wambol, ayos ha, salamat!

Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mwah

ay salamat ha..

Thanks po

=

Ah wala yun. kaw pa!

Ah ok

Sure no problem.

(Nodding)

(A smile in my face =) )

Ungas salamat, becky ka pa din. hehe

Sunday, August 8, 2010

i listen to.. (disk 9)

1. ex-girlfriend (No Doubt) - Whoa! hehe

2. I fought the law (the Clash) - hmmmm I can't believe they have a song like this, rock song with a sweet lyrics.. I call it sweet I guess.

3. everything (Kaskade) - dance lounge sound with a sweet voice.. It gets me into groove.

4. misread (Kings of Convenience) - A song that is indeed misread. hehe But seriously, great song especially the strings, simply great song at a moment you're quite alone.

5. Even flow (Pearl Jam) - If Al is for nirvana, Me? Pearl Jam! At least buhay pa si Eddie. hehe Pero magaling ang Nirvana pa din..

6. bankrobber (the Clash) - I can't believe, na medyo reggae ang dating ha, they have this song. Damn punk band.

7. torpedo (Eraserheads) - One of my fave eheads songs, lalo na yun birit sa huli, sounds like beatles. Indeed, beatles ng pilipinas. hehe

8. bad reputation (Joan Jett) - I prefer the original pero same effect, perfect for Kick Ass! hehe

9. banana splits (The dickies) - I prefer yun bago, kasi yun original di bagay sa scene ng Kick Ass. Damn song, very LSS tapos yun ang scene iniisip mo. Perfect.

10. Brazil (Geoff Muldaur) - Actually, di ko pa napapanood yun film, but this is the song at the start, ok na. hehe At mukhang bagay siya.. I still don't know why the title of the film, Brazil? Nothing about Brazil..

brazil!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

unplanned 15

UST lost sa DLSU...

Got high survey scores pero pagpasok ng week, bumaba na naman..

Lost sa tourney pero nakajackpot naman sa pack. hehe

I hope the new tarp will work sa shop.

Ah yes, sa Saturday na yun green tea frappe ni sir Rheg. hehe

Got tired after 2 weeks of weird everyday schedule.

SMB pasok, Alaska pasok na din!! Yeah!

Wowowee over, Pilipinas Win na win, starts and ends I think this Friday. hehe

I missed that portion. Damn, di ko man lang siya nakita. Mahanap nga. Swak na swak. hehe

Many things to fix.. I hope it's done on Saturday.

Pahinga naman.. Kapagod.

It never ends.. problems, worries, whatever..

I just look down at myself, well, yup. Asking what's happening.

Parang endless na to..

Bad joke..

I don't know, maybe I need more rest.. Or just stay away of those things.

Pero lumalapit sila eh. hehe

But, anyway, I just hope and pray....

One day, it will be...

Over.

Ah siyempre, marami na ko nadownload. Bizarre movies, hmmmmm

di ko pa nga sila napapanood! hehe

Still writing here. Ah sana wag malate bukas, peste kasi schedule yan.

Paano pa kaya next week? One sked nga, closer naman!

Sana palit na din yun caterer, para makatipid sa food. hehe

Kick ass vs. Inception?

I'll Kick Ass!!! =)

Monday, August 2, 2010

enron: the smartest guys in the room

anyhow, I did watch this documentary way back years already. Youtube using my destiny cable hook up, and it was very slow but I stay tuned because of the scam they into. A very complex complicated business scandal that rocked corporate america. Wow. After watching it, I can't still believe it.. Damn..

Well I do curse my former accounts, namely Dish because of what they do to their customers. hehe Or how about HSBC, not in their customers, but employees, like me. hehe Or Dell, well, maybe product defects? hehe But all of them, I mean they are doing the business right and sound.

Enron, as we all know the history, done something massive. Fraud.

Worldcom and other companies fall down on year 2001 due to well not strong financial foundation. At least there is a specific and bitter reason for a company you work so long it's just failed and was not able to keep up. But Enron, wow.. All along.. You were believed that they are a top 5 company in America but the true is, it wasn't.. Never close.. even close of being a big business.. It was all in paper but no substance.

Like one segment there, it's like the emperor with no clothes..

There are conspirators of course. Movie starts of course with the Chairman of Enron, Ken Lay. The emperor who just commands, continue to earn big money. Then, after his first fraud case at NY, then he got his money maker, the CEO, Jeff Schilling. Then others got involve, like the CEO Marketing Cliff Baxter who committed suicide at the start of the movie, then the mastermind of the fraud, CFO, Andy Fastow.

When you watch this, it's like a biography of a person who started young and simple yet have big dreams. Then it grows bigger and bigger and became not only famous but also one of the richest corporations in the USA.

If there are successful stories about it, then behind it are some dark plots. Or some dark past and future, of an entity who has a great image outside but in the inside, there is nothing to it. It's like one of those tricks that you see it now, and now you don't thing.

And that thing is money! When you have the best accounting firm and lawyers and of course, the forger like in Inception. Then you have a perfect plan to defraud people. Not only people but institutions as well.

As the story goes, it is going down into pits. I was laughing at that part when Lu Pi left Enron with $250 million money. Wow, damn I wish I'm like that dude. Actually, he's the luckiest guy in the Enron scam. He disappeared without a trace, and damn richer...

I was shocked how the scam or they work to show they have money but the truth is, they don't. The first step of the process was allowing them to be in the market showing only their future earnings, to the investors and people. That's one of a hell magic trick.hehe It started one lie then goes another..

Marketing strategies, or investments that they look good but the truth is, it won't work. Like the power plant they built in India. I can't believe they put up a billion dollar plant and then it went kaput. Nobody there wants to buy expensive electricity. Or how about the bandwith trading which come on, they are not even a telecom company. hehe

Ah their traders, speaking of traders, they're like in the movie Boiler Room. Great scammers. hehe Not that a whole of the thing they do is scam I mean, they control energy. I was sad at that California chapter, residents there are treated like kids, do this, or no prize. hehe Give us money or no electricity. Geez, I hate that kind of living.. Wayback Ramos days. hehe

The strategy to keep the stock prices up all the time. I don't know with the traders what are they thinking but they should know that not all the time, stocks are high. I was surprised that they don't smell something fishy about a stock, amidst other stocks are desperating to get their prices up, Enron stocks are just steady going higher. They do treat their stocks like it's their own invention. hehe

Well, of course, how they do that, that's where the CFO goes in. Make some dummy accounts and treat like a different investor, then show it as a legit entity. That's more than pyramid or ponzi scheme. It's just it's more complicated. That CFO dude, damn brillant. Unfortunately, he got caught.

Not only him, but all of them. After all the process, and some whistleblowers, all of the cards they put up crashes over. Very tragic event. One day, CEO Jeff Schilling decided to call quits and that was the start of armageddon in Enron.

Stock prices go downhil, way down..

Investigation to the CFO is achieving results.

CEO remarks or works in the recent years had some backlash even before he resigned.

Chairman? I can't believe it, he is still thinking of buying a private jet amidst all of this trouble. That's a good leader for you.

Some months after, Marketing CEO killed himself after he know the truth of the standing of the company and lastly..

20,000 employees, where gone. Enron filed bankruptcy and they were sentenced.

It was too late.. Very late. I was wondering, not only the Cable guy who invested his 401K pension to the Enron stocks which the worth became only $9.00 and can't open the account, but how about the other employees.

I feel sad for them. No pension, no benefits, a severance pay of $4500 which is injustified. However, you can't blame them...

Blame the smartest guys in that room..

Of course, you might think, how about the banks? The case in Capitalism: A love story?

They're just the same.. Actually banks should also blame to this Enron mess because they just gave the money of the shareholders to this scrupulous corporation.

They did not check it further about the standing or even balance sheets.. Oh crap...

Anyhow.. It was a great documentary. How the company grow and fall at the end. Great facts and stories about this mess and how they tricked all the people.

There are some flaws, like at the end, they kinda fast the story. And the proceedings of the jury, about them, it's short, I mean, they should have at least more takes of it. But well, they only show glimpses of it.

Lesson learned, just do the business right. I mean, I do have a business, my Dad had one before (and still thinking it's running. hehe) my brother as well, we do it right. We don't deceive or scam the customers. If we had some faults, we correct it right away.

Being transparent to the customer and of course, show great customer service! hehe We sell reliable products.

But those dudes, they only do is just thinking of making rich in the fastest way.. It won't work.

I still believe in hard work and perserverance, and great planning about not only in business, but life as well. Careers.

You need to sweat a lot, or work hard to earn honestly. Living in peace and not hurting anybody..

Because in the end, after all those sufferings endured during work.. It's all worth taking a rest and sigh. It's done.

I don't know with those people, hurting almost 20,000 people will not give you peace.

I'm damn sure of it..

Great! The gospel last Sunday was about being greed.

I think they were serverly punished..

Destroying an empire of cards built by greed and fraud.

They can repent.. In jail time.

For me, well, even I feel tired, just do the right job and finish it!!!!

More work.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

20

I tried to go 30, but it seems stressful for me.

sometimes it's 7 or like last year, just 1? I'm over busy that I

forgot it.

This year was marvelous, no less than 5 or always more

than 10,

but something is lacking if that stays.

Let's be consistent..

Well, I can't do that again because I don't have access

all the time..

But this will definitely help, more balance and planned. Simplified.

Fun.

Make it 20!

Posts.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

ShoeS

"Good shoes brings you to good places" as Shizuka from Hana Yuri Dango says.. I forgot the exact subtitle words but that was the time I became fond of shoes..

Especially before, when I was with HSBC Alabang, I bought a lot of shoes.. Like almost 5 of them. Different days, different shoes. From black shoes for formal outfits to my favorite white shoes for casual and party. Or even shoes for just roaming around the mall. I have a other kind of shoe if I'm going to suki market. hehe

Maybe it's one of my addictions. I love a pair of shoes which not really shining but it's like better with my outfit. Wherever I go, I just feel comfortable walking with it. As long it's size 11. hehe

That saying before is somewhat true. I went good places wherever I wear my spanking white shoe.. Or how about the red tribal shoes which at the end, I gave it away.. As long its looks good with my clothes I wear.. I'm good to go. Oh yes, I do even have different ways to clean my shoes. hehe

My friends used to say that my shoes are new, even they are already used for a year. I don't really use my shoes that often. At least, I only use them twice a week. Except the black shoe that I used in college. I'm still using it.

Shoes for me is just a sign of reliability, physically. I mean wherever I want to go, even I'm alone, as long I wear those shoes, I have something with me. An extension of me.

Little by little, I have some new shoes, and I can feel they will be many for sometime. I am not gunning for a whole cabinet or pile of shoes but just enough for my different moods or whatever reason I go out to..

I just miss staring a row of shoes waiting to wear and go to places that I love.. or places that I've never seen..

Ah yes, I love shoes that are white, not pure white, because I'll be like DOM. hehe A touch of white and black or dark color..

It symbolizes.. Hmmmm clear way always?

And I prefer no ties..