rainy day

Well, after my shift I went home with my umbrella. hehe Ayun ulan ng ulan at pagdating ko sa bahay, I watched some shows kahit alam ko na di na dapat panoorin. hehe I took a bath and sleep right away. Masarap ang tulog ko coz of the rains, tama lang ang lamig and walang istorbo. After that, ayun straight to work and that's it, I am here, reading some news and bits about everything and nothing new except the fertilizer fund whistleblower is now home, at last. Namuti ang buhok sa kakaisip. Sana makonsensya siya kasi marami siya alam or kahit papano may alam siya kung pano naliquidate ang fertilizer fund ng ganun kadali. hehe

I think I will have a record for the most postings in a month. hehe I will know that at the end of this week. Medyo naaddict ako sa kakapost because maybe what happened to me this month and boredom I guess. Sana ok ang aming CE for last week and I hope this action plan will end by November so I can move on and start contributing to my team. hehe 

I don't know what else to say because I already said what I want these past days. Actually, I already know what will I post for the next coming days, but I will reserve the best for last. hehe Oh well, ayun pala, nagtext si Lynn at last, tnx lang daw.. hahahaha Wala na talaga, so I guess wait and see about her na lang. If that's the case, let's go to plan B, let's meet someone else or whatever. 

Oo nga pala, may Bipolar na kaya sa Music one? The biggest question is, ok kaya? Mas maganda kaya siya sa Fragmented. I will post my question later sa groups. hehe Kung hindi maganda, sa Tower Quiapo na lang ako bibili. hehe Ayan, wala na ko masulat. hehe 

Ayun, good na naman ang CE namin, so one more week and let's see what happens. hehe 

Lynn

So, I will be writing an advanced posting tonight due to some boredom. hehe Kung si Villa walang magawa, ako naman, while at work and idle, wala din magawa. hahaha May blog na naman siya na interesting, kaso ang haba, daming tanong na dapat isagot. hehe Anyway, why Lynn? Who is this person? Actually she is a friend of mine. A special one. hehe Anyway, this is the person I described in my blog under the title of "ang tanong na may sagot" dated, let's see if I am right, hmmmm 08/28/08. Almost 2 months na pala. hehe

Hay, it's a start of the a new week. I was able to test a desktop computer which is so cool, I wish I could have one like that. hehe The XPS 420, damn computer, so powerful and fast. Wala naman bago. Pag ako nagkaroon ng computer na yun, dapat magamit ko araw araw. hehe Unless there is any miracles. hehe Ok, why Lynn? Because it's her birthday today at 12 am of 10/28/08. hehe Happy birthday to her. Well, I don't know what to wish for her, actually we don't have any communication since last month. Siguro busy sa work, kasi naman, ang work niya is kinda hectic and may quota siya sa work, so sana makapahinga siya today. I believe wala siyang work today because birthday leave niya, yun ang sabi niya when the last time we met. hehe

Oh well, I hope ok na siya and whatever her plans are, I hope she will be successful. Hmmmmm, she is a special one for me, of course, like my college friends know, talagang siguro she is "perfect" what I knew before. I described her like that kasi naman, almost every trip, pareho kami. Hmmmm di naman kami nagaaway, minsan lang. hehe What else? Mabait naman siya, matalino din, tama lang. Maganda kung sa maganda, partida di na nagmamake up. hehe 

So, why we there is no relationship? I don't know either. hehe Maybe it's like she like someone else other than me, until now, so I don't stand a chance for it. If I want to pursue courting her, well, before I thought I can. But for these kind of times, I stepped backward and thought of, maybe I need to solve my problems first before going into trouble. hehe Or into this courtship thing, it's just I have so many things bothering me. I need to resolve those things first. Besides, I am not in a hurry. Yet. Depends if love comes to me like before, but if that comes, then I should do the right decisions. Well, for Lynn, I don't expect anything from you, if you think that you have no real feelings for me, that's fine, like I always said, I am here for you always... Naks, ang sweet naman ng ungas. Kaya bigo. hehe

Oh well, ganun talaga ang love, it's ironic, once you have it, it's the greatest feeling, but when it's gone, it's the painful thing that you want to remove it right away. Mahirap talaga, mahirap magmahal. Ika nga ni Bob Ong este ni Villa, "kung minsa'y nagmahal at nabigo ka, wag mawalan ng pag-asa. maaring magmamahal at mabibigo ka uli. panapanahon lang yan. malas mo lang minsan." - villa aranas. Ganun talaga. hehe 

Ang sabi ko nga, kung siguro maghahanap ako ng iba, siyempre yun kilala ko or yun close ko na. Mahirap pa kasi yun kilalanin pa or what, like what I said before. Pero, of course, I can meet somebody new, and be patient how that will go far. hehe Marami naman diyan, no one can tell how love really moves in mysterious ways. hehe You can find love or love finds you as other people say. 

Siguro with Lynn, I can say, not only perfect, but the perfect fit. Kapal ng mukha mo Alfred. hehe Pero yeah, that's what I can view. Sayang pero ano ba magagawa ko, love should work both ways, both parties di ba. 

Patay ako kay Rheg na naman, wasak, at aasarin na naman ako. hehe Pero di naman nagbabasa ng blog ko yun, or kahit sa mga close kong barkada. But that's fine. I do love the person. 

How about my ex? hehe Well, kung inaasar ako ni Rheg na kung siya eh madaling tanggapin ang kanyang ex, oo inaamin ko na sa kin din, tatanggapin ko din siya yun ex ko. hehe Pero siyempre, back to zero ulit, paghihirapan namin ibuild the relationship we have before. Maybe that's the reason why I am getting the images of her at my lonely moments in my room. hehe Pero naka move on naman ako na di ko naman siya iniisip masyado, ako na nga nangangamusta sa kanya but ayun walang reply. hehe I am going out naman with somebody and trying to at least meet somebody without thinking ano sasabihin niya or whatever since wala naman siya communication to me. Magaling magaling magaling. I will post my feelings about pudit later. hahaha

Happy birthday again to Lynn. 

aysus! aysus!!

Ayun sa tingin ko, eto na ang blog ko for Monday. At wala naman ako ilalagay pa masyado. Except, nung nakagising ako ng maaga today, wala na ko maisip gawin. Pero actually, nahirapan ako makatulog kasi sa kakaisip kagabi, marami pumapasok sa utak na talagang pili ko inaalis. Malalim na tagalog yun ha. hehe Pero seriously yeah, I had a hard time sleeping last night due to some thoughts. Past thoughts that keeps bothering me. 

Dapat nga last night, kinausap ko a few friends but oh well, they're not available. I was alone all night, but those thoughts bothering so much, bigla ako nagigising tapos tulog ulit. Letche. hehe Pero buti naman, after long hours of sleeping and wandering, I was able to sleep na agad. Of course, I can't discuss those things. But when I woke up, I am fine now, dapat nga di na ko magcocomputer pero hehe sometimes, rules are made to be broken. 3 people will be celebrating their birthdays this week. One, tapos na kahapon, si Lauren, ang cum laude. hehe Tomorrow, yes. hehe Rheg knows her, and lastly this coming Thursday, the varsi editor in chief wayback in college days. Puro college friends. College days are seem to be memorable, I like those days than my HS days, I always say this even in my previous posts. 

Oh well. Sana matapos na tong week, get my pay, visit loyola on November 1 and get a long rest again. Na realize ko, kung matutulog or magpahinga ako ng at least one day sa day off (that doesn't include Monday kasi sa gabi may pasok), di ako mastress masyado. Sabi nga ni Topel labas labas daw ako, sabi ko mas gusto ko ng pahinga lang saka gastos lang yan. (ang totoo, tinatamad ako) hehe Pero yeah, kung pang umaga lang work ko, no problem, araw araw may ginagawa. hehe 

When will that day come? Aysus. 

slacker uprising

Di naman ako slacker. hehe Anyway, after posting my blog last Saturday, eh nakakuha ako ng mcafee extension for free, thanks to mininova.org. hehe So wala na ko problema sa virus scan or whatever. Medyo mabagal pa rin computer ko kasi sa sobrang dami ng files but that's fine, wala naman weird happening sa computer ko, ok na yun. Matagal yun download, like around 3 hours, so nakapanood naman ako ng TV. From PBA, hanggang Imbestigador, ayun kahit papano updated naman ako sa TV shows. hehe Akalain mo may nahuli pa lang pabrika dito malapit sa min, gawaan ng pekeng Guess shirts. hehe 

Nothing unusual happen, until Sunday came. I woke up early and proceed to church right away. Mga 7am tapos na ko then kumain sa Pares, pero siyempre iba naman inorder ko, different from the usual Pares, beef wanton mami naman ang inorder ko. hehe I realized, masarap din pala sila mag mami, at a lower cost unlike sa Jonas. At last, may chili sauce naman ako naabutan nung kumain ako ng mami. hehe Ang panget lang, walang siopao after ko kumain ng mami kasi naubos at kakalagay lang nila ng bagong salang. So, ganun talaga, sa 24 hour resto of Pares. Some orders run out. 

After that, dumaan ako sa Suki, buy some stuff, and do some errands. At paguwi, linis agad ng kuwarto, linis ng electric fan at ayun, napagod, pero nagcomputer naman agad ako. hehe Dapat kahapon pa ko nagpost but I don't have anything to write until I watched the free Michael Moore's film slacker uprising. First I went to their website, watched the trailer and sign up to watch the movie since it's free. I opened my emai and there is a link for the film, but alas, there is a warning that the viewer should be residing in the US or Canada. It means, they can detect the subscriber. hehe The reason they prohibit viewers outside the US or Canada due to some warning from their lawyers. hehe Pero I did not give up, I went straight to youtube, and there it is. I watched the film for free. hehe 

Well, it's about Moore's campaign in 2004 to encourage non voters or slackers who doesn't care the election day, especially the youth to come out and vote. It's a really interesting documentary, not as shocking in Fahrenheit 9/11 or Sicko, but an opening realization that US really needs a change of perception of voting the right people. Remember, they tested Bush and see what happen to them now, very tragic. Of course, the film includes the usual Moore antics and involvement of people, not only the normal people, but also hollywood stars from REM, Roseanne up to Tom of RATM. hehe It's a good one, and I enjoyed it. They should do the right thing this time of the year, because if not, they will just crumble into bits. hehe I am talking about the voters in the coming US election, they should go for Obama. At least for a change. But one personality that caught my attention after watching that film and the presidential debates, it is Ron Paul. He is against all the policies that Bush pushed, even the Democrats proposition as well, he is against it. Parang gusto niya is to have a normal US system that doesn't meddle other countries problems. I mean, normal US system na kaya supportahan sarili nila without borrowing money from others, unlike they are doing today. Kaya kahit wala na siya sa race, maraming kano ang gusto siya maging president. I watched some of his clips and it does make sense. Pwede naman siya tumakbo as independent or gawa siya ng sarili niyang party, pero di ata pwede yun sa US. 

Hay, sana tumino ang mga kano this coming November 4. The world will be watching next week. Are we going to witness the first black US president next week? Or the continuation of a regime who wants to dominate the world? Parang kano ako noh. hehe Pero wala lang, naaawa lang ako sa US, they have everything but due to mismanagement, they are falling into a bad shape.  

After that, nakatulog na ko at balak ko sana magpost kagabi, kaso ayun tinulugan ko na lang. hehe Nanalo ang Coke under coach Duremdes? hehe Buti naman ang Purefoods nanalo kagabi kasi kung hindi, kakahiya sila. hehe 

Lucky for me, I am not a slacker anymore, I don't want to be jobless for more than 3 months you see. hehe

Leave Me Alone

On a thousand islands in the sea
I see a thousand people just like me
A hundred unions in the snow
I watch them walking, falling in a row
We live always underground
It's going to be so quiet in here tonight
A thousand islands in the sea
It's a shame

And a hundred years ago
A sailor trod this ground I stood upon
Take me away everyon when it looks down

From my head to my toes
From the words in the book
I see a vision that would bring me luck
From my head to my toes
Through my teeth, through my nose
You get these words wrong
You get these words wrong
Every time
You get these words wrong
I just smile

But from my head to my toes
From my knees to my eyes
Every time I watch the sky
For these last few days leave me alone
But for these last few days leave me alone
Leave me alone
Leave me alone

That's all I can say today. I got my sleep, nothing to do, just leave me alone, just for this night. 

Very dramatic isn't it? hehe Don't worry, nothing new to me. No drastic changes, no miracles happened, I just slept so long. I slept alone.

Oh, this is the best New Order song. From the intro up to the end of the song, simply the best. 

Age Of Consent

Hay naku, the extension of my agony starts today. hehe After my shift yesterday, I went home, do the usual stuff and watched Conan. Anak ng tokwa, tapos na pala yun Conan, yun here lang sa GMA, sa Japan, di pa tapos. hehe Papalitan na ng Street Fighter V. So no reason to turn on my TV at weekday mornings. hehe After that, I went down and do some stuff for my computer. Expired na yun mcafee ko, I need to search for a new virus scan. This weekend naman, wala akong masyado gagawin, pero sa computer ko, marami. hehe Number one, virus scan, number two, yun mga utang kong pinadodownload sa kin. hehe At huli, other stuff. Oh, ayun di nga ako nakapunta sa Bipolar album launch tonight, ok kaya yun album nila? Sabi ko nga kay Raims, bibili na lang ako sa Music One. hehe 

What else? Napagana ko na sa wakas yun mic ng headset ko sa bahay, the solution? Yun input sa likod ng computer pala ang way to use the mic of my headset. hehe Ang unang nakagamit ay si Mommy to call Tita Nonette from States. Hmmm, come to think of it, overseas call made it easy pala talaga ang YM. hehe Magamit nga din yun, pero kanino kaya? hahaha

At eto pa, may nahanap na naman akong ibang trailer for the Watchmen, acutally nasa profile ko na siya. Anak ng tokwa, lalo ako nasabik, that movie may live up the hype. Un ibang screenshots pinakita na dun, lalo na yun superpowers ni Dr. Manhattan, saka paano pinatay si Comedian. hehe Siyempre, nagresearch ako sa net of the story, I can say the movie might be fantastic, but it depends how the die hard fans will appreciate it. This graphic novel separates from the comics or novels in terms of substance. hehe The bottom line, I can't wait for 03/06/09. Come to think of it, Alan Moore is a great writer, graphic novelist. Very imaginative yet morally sound writer. Fantastic lad. Of course, don't count out Frank Miller and Neil Gaiman. Speaking of Neil Gaiman, when he will release a movie adaption of the Sandman? Yun lang naman kasi ang kilala kong novel niya. haha The question remains, is really Watchmen filmable? Let's see on 03/06/09.

So yun lang masasabi ko. By the way, The Village song yesterday came from New Order's album, Power, Corruption and Lies. That is my favorite album from New Order. And this song today, my fourth fave song, Age Of Consent. Of course, in a New Order song, you can't remove a great intro, an excellent bass, god like drum rhythms and good lyrics. The lyrics itself says a lot about breakup. Nagtataka nga ko everytime I hear New Order songs, they have upbeat sounds yet it has dark lyrics. hehe Weird but that made them great since Joy Division days. Ang kinaibahan lang naman is more light mood ang New Order than Joy Division. 

Won't you please let me go?

These words lie inside they hurt me so

And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you

Just what I want to do

I'm not the kind that needs to tell you

Just what you want me to

I saw you this morning

I thought that you might like to know

I received your message in full a few days ago

I understood every word that it said

And now that I've actually heard it

You're going to regret

And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you

Just what you want me to

You're not the kind that needs to tell me

About the birds and the bees

Do you find this happens all the time?

Crucial point one day becomes a crime

And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you

Just what I want to do

And I'm not the kind that needs to tell you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

I've lost you

end

"Won't you please let me go?

These words lie inside they hurt me so" - parang ganun feeling ko today.  hehehe Well, I just a hope there will be a good week ahead after this very gloomy week.  

"God help us all" - The Comedian, from Watchmen trailer. 

 

I've lost you, long time ago. 

The Village

Of course, this is not about the film from M. Night Shyamalan, I never watched that movie. hehe I only wish that I can switch the dreams I am getting into reality and the reality I am into can be switch into a nightmare. How pathetic I am now. Well, that's life, very ironic. Very stressed bad week I have been. I wish that today is Friday shift, the end of the week. Work week. Hay, mukhang magtatagal pa ko sa plan na to. Kakabagot, but this time, I should be more careful. Or else, I should be looking for a new job. hehe That's fine, it's my fault. Kakaasar lang na masyado na ko matagal na ganito at walang silang patawad. Grabe. hehe But to think of it, maybe tama rin na ganito, kaso ayoko ko lang ng sobrang tagal sa namomonitor ang galaw ko. I feel constricted I guess. Anyway, this time, it will test my patience I guess. I hope this will end and move on in my career. Whatever will happen, there is plan B and C. 

Bad trip kahapon kasi sa gitna ng masarap kong tulog eh pinapawisan ako, yun pala, nagbrownout. Nasira yun rhythm ko sa tulog. Bad trip talaga tong linggo to. Malas ata talaga ako. hehe So medyo matagal yun brownout, pero naramdaman ko na lang na umandar na yun electric fan, nakatulog na ko ng mahimbing. hehe After that hot afternoon, I woke up around 9pm, rode a jeep coming to work, unfortunately again, the jeep that I rode had a flat tire. Kailangan ko maglakad from Cubao to Mercury drug at Yale so natagalan pa ko. Parang napakamalas ko naman. Peste. hehe So ayun, nakarating naman ako on time. Hay, sobrang bad trip, I want to finish this week. Desperately. Move on to a new week. 

So, the 3rd song I like from New Order, The Village. Why that song? Hmmm intro is good, the lyrics? Fantastic and the ending words well not good. hehe But everything is good with that song. Failed love was the topic of it. If you check the first stanzas, the love is so great until it died or it was died since then. hehe Oh well, life and love are really like the same. Both ironic. Both have extreme happiness and sadness. Actually, nadiscover ko lang tong song na to this year lang, while browsing some Kuya Dong files. Eh ayun narinig ko at nahook na ko sa kanta. hehe I am so nostalgic in old songs, anak nga ko ng 80's. hehe I like some new songs today but not that addicted. The reason? Most of them are crap. 

When a new life turns towards you

And the night becomes a bay

We shall remain forever

Everyone who meets his way

Oh, our love is like the flowers

The rain and the sea and the hours

Oh, our love is like the flowers

The rain and the sea and the hours

When the rain falls to the sea

They'll be waiting for you and for me

And the sky reflects our image

Trying to sleep right through our lives

Oh, our love is like the earth

The sun and the trees and the birth

Oh, our love is like the earth

The sun and the trees and the birth

I am still here two days later

Same place, same time

And I'm stuck here two years too long

Same place, the wrong time

Oh, our love is like the flowers

The rain and the sea and the hours

Oh, our love is like the flowers

The sun and the sea and the hours

Their love died three years ago

I hope that if there will be a time I found a new love, it won't die this time. Forever is the word and nothing else. hehe I am thinking every moment, what will happen to me with all these events happening in my dear life. I do not know even if I will make it, or if will end or this will continue or I don't know if I am doing right in the first place. 

I just pray, Lord, if you can lift these burdens from me. Sana lang, dumating ang araw na dapat wala na ko aalalahanin masyado at magkaroon ng normal na buhay. Baka magtaka ka, baka tanungin mo ko di ka ba normal? hehe 

Well, after I faced the real life, graduating from college. I realized, that a normal life that I am looking is not the one that used to be for. We have different perceptions what a normal life should be, but for me, I don't think I have a privilege to know that before. I have a weird life,  and a weird family which changed my view, of a normal life. I can still keep my weird lifestyle or goals, but a normal family, I have a chance to get that, in the future of course. hehe 

Right now, I just want a normal sleep. hehe