flashbacks: Wanbol

I had other nicknames in the past.. Tentay, JR, hmmmm well, recently Pnoy, Fred, Pedong, Alfred of course, one time eh Alf, kapangalan ng Alien character sa isang TV show dati.. All of them, siyempre kinaya ko..

Unfortunately, one really not stands out for me, or even my Dad calls it, I'm quite demotivated.. Those childhood years.. It's Wanbol. Yeah, I cannot believe I still remember that name. Sa other classmates, Bukol. Great.

Why is that? Alam naman ng lahat na meron ako physical defect before. My Mom would explain na maliit lang dati hanggang sa lumaki but tumigil ng laki pero ang tigas. I felt that when I was around 5 years old, medyo flat na pabilog sa ulo at biglang, yes, from Elementary, HS and yes, can't you believe in College, pero mabuti di na nun college... Lahat sabihin na nila pero eto, parang sometimes, di ko na kinaya..

There were attempts to remove this bump in my head, pero due to uncontrollable circumstances, troubles and everything, tumagal na tumagal.. At muntikan na kalimutan.. Until yeah, I went to UST and thinking I hope one day, wala na tong peste sa ulo ko..

Mahirap talaga, kasi with this bump, nauuntog ako sa jeep, or masakit yun impact pag naaksidente kang nauntog sa pader or pinto.. At ang pinakamahirap talaga eh yun gel ng buhok ko.. Siyempre mahirap magpagupit.. Malaki kita sa kin ng gel companies before. Pero thankful ako sa US size gels, madami eh. hehe

Ayun, everyday I need to put a gel on my hair, kasi makikita yun bukol, and I cannot do other hairstyles kasi makikita. Gusto ko nga yun 90's Goma hairstyle version eh, kaso ayun di naman pwede. hehe Saka ang hirap magpakapal ng buhok.. Grabe, I mean, I need to cut my hair every at least 1-2 months kasi pag maaga, manipis agad ang buhok ko.. Hirap talaga.. Mabuti na lang magaling ako magsuklay and nasasabi ko na lang may bukol ako pagtinatanong eh bakit yun lagi gupit ko.. Then I explain, and they left dazed. hehe

The other and main disadvantage eh because of it, sobrang mahiyain ako.. From girls, public speaking excercise, even in plays, mabuti kung may hat ang character ko and other things. It really affected my personality before.. Low self esteem and not confident.. A really shy dork.

I cried sometimes I hope na wala na siya at mabuti di naman ako nagkasakit because of that kasi delikado, talagang nasa gitna siya ng ulo ko. Oh God..

Then after sometime, and approaching my last year in School, I don't know what I said pero parang one time, I asked Dad na kailan ba mawawala itong bukol ko.. Besides di naman deadly or serious kasi na CT Scan ako dati and it's not life threatning naman.. Sabi ni Dad, then patanggal naman. So I called Mom, asked some advice from her friend Doctor in surgery, asked for an Xray since nawala yun CT scan and that's it.. I cut my OJT short for a week, to go on and proceed for this life changing operation. I was nervous before kasi makikita ko na kalbo ako with that pathetic bukol .hehe Sabi kasi ng Doc, pwede din sila maggupit kaso baka panget sila mag gupit.

Then before the operation, that's it.. I looked myself to a mirror and there was the bump that I kept for decades and there is a smile on my face, after this day, no more Wanbol, or Bukol name for me!

The operation was done in UST siyempre discount kuno at Doctor gave me instructions on what will happen, after that.. I fell asleep. Almost an hour, ayon.. Nasa room na ko.. With a big bandage in my head na parang bombay.. Mom is beside me, and she is texting and yeah, I'm texting my classmates as well, CRAP and other friends.. They visited naman.. I'm surprised na nandun sila, from CRAP, 4BA1, yun mga Pre-Com dudes, ayun even number 3 and her best friend came in.. I was delighted although it was painful kasi nun nawala yun anesthesia.. Grabe sobrang sakit.. I was crying but well, it was tears for joy. =)

It was one of the happiest days in my life, and it somewhat kahit di ko nareach ang potential pero marami nagbago.. I was able to be more confident. Not shy anymore, lalo na sa Girls and evident naman di ba? hehe Then I was more outspoken kahit ngayon medyo tahimik pa din. At higit sa lahat, I was free from that monicker. No more that name and my old self. It peeled off my lesser self and began to reborn. It's like the butterfly going away from it's previous self, the cocoon..

I was free and I know it's quite late, but well, I have more time to make up. =)

Until now, even it was painful, one of the painful pasts. It really put a smile in my face and can't seem to imagine, why it took so long, even my doctor was quite surprised.

I was so happy that my grad pic, well, I'm bald already. Kalbo na!!!!!!!!!! Yeah.. No more makapal hair style!!!!!!! hehe

My scar pa naiwan and natanong ko sa doctor now kung pwede pa matubuan kasi natatanong sila kung bakit di ako magpakapal ulit ng buhok. I tried but that area talaga, wala na eh.. Doctor says, the only thing can be done is hair transplant. Sabi ko, di na! hehe

Marami na natulong sa kin yun being bald, no more gels.. Or rushing to comb my hair.. Yun na, except sa dandruff. hahaha Pero nawawala naman.. At presko ha..

One of the best birthday gifts given to me, kasi nangyari yun around June 3-4 of 2003.. Dermoid cyst ang biopsy and yes, I saw it, a big white lollipop.. Geez.. Ewwww. =) I hope to keep it, pero after seeing that in seconds. Tama na! haha

Well, I can say it helped me one thing. It is important to me because of that cyst.. The kindness I show, or humility and patience, dahil sa bukol na yun.. Parang naging foundation siya sa kin. I know sometime I'm still shy but not very often.. Perhaps shy pa din ako, pero other than that. I am still thankful for that bukol =) I believe kasi, kindness is shown not on how you are good looking and looks kind or good but, it's what you do and what you show or give to others.

8 years and counting.. Although physically marami pa ko kailangan ayusin or achieve, but important is my basis of confidence, or simply no shy type or naiilang na eh wala na..

Important is nahahawakan ko na yun ulo ko na walang sabit. =)