Monday, December 7, 2009

Everything and Nothing


"Reorder your life"

Words of Wisdom coming from a priest today.

Years ago, I can say I did have a life which is simpler and somewhat peaceful. I did have almost everything I need. Not rich yet, secured I guess.

Living freely, and no worries. Well, that was years ago.

Look at me now, living desperate. hehehe

Living in a constrained state. Searching for answers which I know I can't find them. Anywhere.

I have no other things left in me. Everything just gone away. I feel so sad, empty and lost..

Nothing left for me.

Even my shoes are still the same after these years. I need to change them. Hehe Clothes are the same. Debts are still the same. Feelings are never changed after those events.

All of these mixed up in me every moment, equals, zombie mood. hehe

However, I am still here hoping that one day, everything will go back. At my own pace and my own path. I just don't know when it will that be.

As life goes on, I am always kneel down for whatever miracle I can get everyday. I am grateful that from up there, whatever the day ended, I should be thankful that I am still here. Writing, thinking, praying, hoping for the best. Eating? Ah, not that much.hehe

I am not asking that everything will be back, every thing I lost, it's just the state I am before. Merry go arround, some kind of lazy and most importantly happy!

It's better to be happy than being looked so tired. Oh boy...

Thanks to those words, maybe I already know what should I do in life. Where to start, when to begin, how it will end.

Small steps will be a good start. I just don't know how I'll step in to that.

Everything for me is gone.

Nothing is all I have.

Like what that dude in History in the World part 1 says,

"I have nothing to sell!!! I have nothing!!"

Funny part. hehe

Nah, I know it's not funny, but well, thank him, other things are still here. Priceless things.

Priceless things that are worth keeping for. More than everything.

More than nothing..

Precious is a better word.

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