"Middle"

In life, when you're in a situation which you can't understand why you're there, you simply ask yourself, what the hell(censored) I am doing here?! Yes, you're reading it right. What I am doing here...

Everyday, as I wake up, damn tired.. It's like the one in groundhog day, repeating itself ... A cycle of damnation. hehe

Nah, I am serious for this one yet I put some light to it. It's just not good these days.. As you get older, oh I am sorry, as everybody in the family gets older, the problems gets older as well. Unfortunately, it's not like wine which getting better when it ages.

Family problems indeed, definitely not like that..

Hmmmm, good metaphor of it, it's like cancer. It's getting worse every time it go a notch higher until your life is sorry to say, over..

I won't get on details at that.. Even my friends they do know but I don't really divulge it, or make a story or tell them hey, for years maybe I should get out of this. But not, maybe it's my blood, taking care of it by myself, all by myself.

When they need something, sure I'll help.. But sometimes, it's just too much. Especially, ehem. You got it right. hehe

But others, brothers, sister, they're fine, at least they helped so much, especially this year, except for some aspects. I miss Algerro for somehow, I wish I could pay a visit that easy. Hehe But I miss him, maybe because no one is bothering me about stars, rock music and yes, even channel 2. hehe But of course, what I miss him most is his whole being.

Well, being at the middle of this void, what can I do? What I am doing to keep me going?

One, you're looking at it..

Two, yes, reading the bible, at least, keeping me sane. hehe Doing for years, thank God!

Three, hmmmm I think being alone in my room helps as well..

Four, friends yes, keep them closer. Good thing, I don't have enemies to keep them closer as well. hehe Ah there are but they are kinda imaginary..

Five, keep quiet.

Six, fave part, memories, just happy memories..

Seven, and lastly, if allows me, get more rest and be healthy.

I just hope I can do all of them at the same time.. To keep me here. To be here and to stay here.

Oh, I forgot, little by little solve my problems. Nah, not the other problems. hehe

It's not my problem anyway, because before, it gave me headaches..

Stay away. Please stay away. hehe

I wish, not only all of them are said and done, but just I'll wake up one day, happy and no worries. Or like all of a sudden, if you know the game at timezone when a crane gets a toy out from a pile of stuff toys, and get the prize. I forgot what it called but I wish I am that toy getting out of that pile!

That will be sweet and fantastic...

Oh well, that's it, not bad for a rant. From a stressed and confused individual.

Maybe next year, I will write less about these things. No more sequels, or even trilogy..

Just one long damn story.. That's it..

And me? Not part of it. Not even at the middle of it..